Can You Truly Give Sexual Consent To Have Drunk Sex?

By: Alyssa Cole

With the topic of rape being at an all-time high in our society today, we now question doing certain acts that can lead to things we cannot foresee as going wrong or diminishing our reputation. Charlamagne Tha God of the Breakfast Club talked recently about an experience where him and his now wife had drunk sex for their first time and the media ran with it stating that he had raped his wife because there was no sexual consent. Raped?! No Consent?! This in fact was not true!

Although the rumor was quickly cleared up, it makes you wonder how society views drinking or being under the influence when the end result leads to sex with someone. How can you really tell if it’s consensual if it’s not verbal? The definition for consensual sex is when both parties agree to have sex each time. You can’t assume that because you both potentially are drunk that it was consented nor can you assume someone wanted to have sex based off their body language or expressions. Some may say it depends on the situation, that since they are dating the person so a verbal consent isn’t needed, or even that things just happened in the moment! But when we look back at the track record of celebrities within the last year that thought they would be ok with their decisions made over 10 years ago in regards to drunk sex or high sex, it makes us ask ourselves, are we being smart and is the drinking and smoking that may lead to sex really worth potential future consequences.

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According to rainn.org, 1 out of every 6 American Women and 1 out of every 33 American Men have been a victim of an attempted or completed rape. More often the abuser is someone who also is familiar with the person which is disheartening. Did you know there is a form of sexual assault specifically focused on drugs and alcohol use as well? There is levels to it yes! The person who just left the party and can barely walk in a straight line would not exactly be the ideal person to strike up a conversation with. Even when you may be helping someone who is under the influence get back to safety, it’s important if possible to have a witness with you to prevent any accusations from being created. You may be saying to yourself, “Well the person didn’t have a lot to drink so do I still need to ask?” How can you tell when someone has reached their limit? How many people do you know that can predict when they are about to black out? Not many right?

The worst thing is having sex with someone and the person has no memory the following day due to the level of inebriation they experienced. Just imagine if that happened to you where you were out having a good time and BOOM! You wake up next to someone you may or may not know and don’t know how you got there! Disturbing and scary right? One of the common things that you may hear someone ask the person who was under the influence is “Would you really have had sex with that person if you were sober?” Again, this depends on the person. If the actions were not displayed before the person was under the influence, it’s typically easy to figure out the answer.

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Let’s face it, for years people (typically men) have decided to make the first move to initiate sexual activity, but a serious question to ask yourself is “Was it to satisfy us or just me?” Did they tell you they wanted it just as much as you did? Maybe they did or didn’t. Overall, a few things to take away from the constant discussion of rape and sexual assault, especially when drugs and alcohol are involved, are two things. One, try to have self control and not have sex especially with someone new while under the influence to prevent any potential problems and two, take a moment out to ask the other person if they would like to do it first! One simple question can be life changing without you even knowing it right away. Choose Wisely.

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