Natural Hair Journey: A Love And Hate Relationship
“There is a fine line between love and hate”
By: Emily-Ann
Speaking of relationships, I am referring to the personal relationship you have with your hair, not the romantic one you look for all your life, and stumble on in your 30’s just before giving up. Yes, the relationship you have with your hair, the one that made you look for the perfect bottle of shampoo and conditioner at the beauty supply store and the right combination of oils, moisturizers, and (DC) deep conditioners.
This natural hair relationship can bring on some sleepless nights with you trying to figure out if the styling product or tool is right for you. The countless hours of watching Youtube tutorials and still finding it difficult to execute. The fights you have with your hair when cooperation is all you want. Instead, your hair feels like being stubborn and out of control and you are almost on the edge of calling it a quits. Then something good happens, a stranger or friend compliments you on your hair, and you realize things are not so bad after all.
I am indeed comparing our beautiful curly hair to something like a romantic relationship. I have lost count how many times I have had emotional distress because of it. I wanted to express that even veterans in the game still get annoyed, and it is normal. As much as I praise natural hair, it can be very challenging and difficult to handle. Now I am not saying this to turn you away from becoming natural or to discontinue on your natural journey, but to encourage you as this is something we all go through.
If things are not complicated enough you then have to navigate your way through our current society. Ducking curious hands and questions that want to touch. Looking at social media and seeing another form of culture apportion by other trend followers. Our ancestors endured many things during their captivity, life in the new world, and constantly searching for ways to adapt. We become a chameleon of sorts.
We face discrimination from family, strangers, and friends, like when someone says “I couldn’t go natural, I don’t know how you do it”. If shade isn’t being thrown your way, it's the ridiculous questions. Texture discrimination is real, workplace vulnerability, and wash day can take some time to get used to. All these things can make you question whether or not you are doing the right thing.
I’ll give you an example, I have a coworker who I adore. Her comments do get to me sometimes. Comments like, “I like your hair better when it is relaxed.” It’s her opinion but it’s comments like that I’ve had to deal with on a regular basis. This is an older, and mature woman of color saying this. I roll my eyes and change the subject.
I am here being transparent with you, because in a world with IG models, trend followers, and setters, I think this world needs a little more authenticity. We are constantly being shown unrealistic images on how we should look, act, and sound in the beauty world. It is okay to do your glow up at a different pace. Your hair is beautiful no matter what state it’s in or texture.
Being natural is just as hard if not more so without additional comments and stares. While others pay millions of dollars to look like us we are born this way. It’s time we start encouraging ourselves and others to embrace our unmatched beauty as a black culture. A healthy attitude towards social media is also key, as well all are aware of the dangers of low self-esteem and the beauty world.
Here's a question for you, did you think that being natural would be easier or less expensive? I sure did, not only was I shocked with the constant maintenance and how expensive it can be. Yes, I have second thoughts about being natural, it’s completely understandable. Now with the coronavirus pandemic keeping us indoors for now. You now have time to do little research or even make new changes to your hair care regimen. Now you have the time, the only setback is many of our beauty supply stores are close due to the COVID-19. Online stores will be your best friend right now. Take advantage of this time to educate yourself.
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Meet Emily-Ann Brown, contributing writer to 247 Live Culture!