"But You're A Feminist." | Why Is This An Issue?

“My feminism, specifically encourages black women to be themselves, for themselves.”

By: Deveney Marshall

For as far back as I can remember I was taught feminist ideals by both the women and men in my family. My parents made sure to instill in me that I had no limitations in this life, and neither my race nor my gender could stand in the way of me doing what my heart desired. In light of that, I grew up being the “different” girl. My peers and I would have conversations about gender roles, and it was very apparent I did not think like the average girl. After college, I became more comfortable with embracing the label feminist. One day it dawned on me that several of my ideas fell under the label, and I shouldn’t allow the negative connotations associated with the word shy me away from aligning myself with it.

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Once I began to identify as a feminist, I learned just how ignorant people were when it came to that word. People would ask me a host of disrespectful questions about feminism, but most often they would question me being a feminist. As soon as I uttered the words “I’m a feminist,” people would place me in a box and gather a misconception about who I am, what I stand for, and what my story must be. How I look, speak, and act was immediately scrutinized, and if I didn’t fit what a feminist was in their in minds, then my entire stance as one was questioned. Quite frankly it all is very tiresome, and to think it only happens simply because people misunderstand the word.

People tend to have a very warped view of what feminism is, and make the word more complicated than it actually is. Half feel feminism is an excuse for women to be sexually liberated, and the other half believe feminism and misandry are one in the same. I define feminism as a movement that empowers women to be unapologetically who they want without the constant second thought of the patriarchal male gaze. My feminism, specifically encourages black women to be themselves, for themselves. However, people refuse to accept that definition, and would rather center the movement solely around hating men.

Unfortunately, because we live in a patriarchal society that believes women’s sole purpose is for the consumption of men, it is difficult to convince individuals that some women only exist for themselves. Society likes to believe that women make their choices always keeping men in mind. Now, where that still may be true for some women, a large number of us have left that conventional way of thinking behind. Nonetheless, as a result, they tend to conclude that feminism must be the complete opposite of that traditional concept, and those that identify as feminists must reject their femininity, and everything else they believe enhances women's prospects of getting men.

I am what you would call a girly girl through and through. I love to get dolled up, I love makeup, heels, and all things feminine — but because I am a feminist I am expected not to. People are often confused by my femme demeanor once I proclaim myself as a black feminist. They assume since my ideals dismiss traditionalism, then I must also detach from my femininity as well. I guess in their minds it baffles them that I don't look and speak like Angela Davis, or any other woman like her they picture when they hear the words black feminist. They fail to understand how a woman chooses to present herself and what her ideas are do not have to be monolithic. A woman can have a progressive mindset and still cater to her physicality. The two do not cancel one or the other out in the slightest bit. I know most have been taught women only care about their outer appearance to attract men but I'm here to inform you that is incorrect. Most women put emphasis on their appearance for themselves. It helps them to feel empowered, which is what feminism is all about.

Feminism is not this pungent thing people try to present it as. It is a movement that focuses on dismantling patriarchy, not men. Those of us women who identify as feminists do not hate our femininity or every man we cross paths with. Most of us identify as such because we believe we are empowered enough to lead an evolution that encourages women to be who they want in this world. We could care less about belittling men or emasculating them. Our focus is on ourselves, and what makes us feel good. And if that happens to be the most glamorous versions of ourselves than so be it. Our emphasis on appearance is about us feeling good, not for the likes of men. A woman should not ever have to deny herself of anything she feels empowers her. Your stereotypical idea of what a feminist is, is your problem, not hers, and she does have to fit the box you've created in your mind.

Fellow feminists, please know you are allowed to enjoy your feminine nature, whilst dismantling patriarchy. We do not have to confine ourselves as women to patriarchal limitations. We can embrace our outward beauty, be intellectual beings, and still be down for the cause. Do not allow society to place you in any box. Wear your makeup, rock your favorite pencil skirt, and strut in your sexiest heels — and show this world a feminist can be and look however she chooses to.

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