Working Jobs You Don't Like: Choosing Between Morals and Money
By: Kwana Adams
Does it sometimes feel like we have to choose between standing up for ourselves or keeping it to ourselves to take care of ourselves? How do you handle a situation where it seems like you have to choose between your morals or your money?
I’ll be honest, I’ve quit jobs due to piss poor management or feeling like I’m being mistreated, disrespected, or put down. I have absolutely refused to stay in a situation where my superiors are accusing me of not working hard, slacking off, or being lazy. The easiest and fastest way to make me angry is to tell me I’m not a hard worker or that I’m not good enough when I know that I am.
I’ve had multiple positions where I’ve walked away and never looked back. But those situations have always left me struggling until I could find something else. I have also left feeling unsatisfied because I never spoke my mind or advocated for myself harder. Sometimes capitalism makes it hard to stick to your values and morals. Sometimes we just have to put our head down and take it until we can find something better. It’s not ideal, and it’s so damn hard, but our only other alternative is to starve.
Now that I’m older, I can’t afford to leave myself in that situation, especially with covid and the uncertainty it causes. On the flip side of that, whatever is bothering me continues to eat away at me until I can’t take it anymore. I’m suddenly miserable, snapping at everyone, I never smile or laugh at a joke, and I feel like I’m losing my true self. This is the literal definition of ‘stuck between a rock and a hard place.’ I’ve always thought of myself as a person who would never compromise who I am and what I believe for money, but I know what it’s like to struggle. I know what it’s like to be in a hole that takes too long to dig back out of, and I never want to go back there again.
I’m 27 years old, and I still haven’t figured out how to handle these situations. I feel disrespected and belittled by a superior, but I can’t afford to quit. I’ve always known from a young age that I don’t respect authority. I was also always told to use my voice and stick up for myself. “You ain’t anybody’s punk or follower.” However, I’ve also known from a young age that I need to have money to support myself. “Don’t let ever let a man take care of you or tell you everything you have is because of him.” I can’t go through life floating from job to job. I also can’t go through life stifling my voice or being stuck under someone’s metaphorical boot.
If you’ve ever been in a similar situation or felt these same feelings, I’m sorry that I don’t have a solution for you, but just know that you’re not alone. I’m here too if you need advice or just an ear to vent to. I’m optimistic that we will see a world where we don’t have to make these decisions one day. I don’t agree with having to compromise your true self for money, but I’m also not unrealistic, and I realize we need money to survive. Until then, I’ll keep envisioning my perfect world where our whole lives are not just about surviving but about loving and enjoying life while we’re living it.
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