How To Find Joy In The Smaller Moments
Learn simple steps to find joy in the little moments of life and reclaim your peace amidst the demands of adulthood. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
The seriousness of adult life can wear us all down. We have so many demands placed on us that it can be difficult to have fun and not take life too seriously.
We all need a bit of a boost now and again, and sometimes we need to remember to take a step back and enjoy the smaller moments in life. If you’re curious to find out how you might start this journey, look at these simple steps to point you in the right direction.
How to find joy in the little moments in life:
Take Time Out For Yourself
Sometimes, it can feel as though we are constantly available, always trying to connect with people and hit our goals.
It's important to take time out for yourself and to be alone to process your thoughts properly. Take some time away from the office, or the laptop, or your busy diary full of commitments.
Go for a walk in nature. Sit in a coffee shop and order your favorite drink. Watch the world go by. Take pleasure in feeling the wind on your face or in your hair as you go for a walk.
Enjoy the cozy spot at that coffee shop you’ve meant to go to. Take a moment to look at the frost on a cold winter’s day. Take some time to embrace solitude. Look at all the little things in life you may never have stopped to consider before!
Be Bold And Ambitious
Be at one with nature by setting an alarm and watching the sunrise. Alternatively, watch the sunset. Take a beverage with you and some food and watch one of nature’s marvels unfold in front of you.
You will find a sense of peace while watching sunrises, sunsets, even waves crashing at the beach. Appreciate the sounds, sights, and beauty of something that is out of your control.
You can’t decide when these beautiful moments will happen - all you can do is sit and appreciate them. Be tranquil and enjoy the moment.
Try to be still, clear your mind, and enjoy every color in the sky, every sound the wind makes, and every feeling you can savor.
Be Curious
When you manage to take time out of your hectic schedule, indulge and be curious about the world around you.
Go for a walk in your city and go to that building or historical site you’ve always meant to visit.
Visit a museum or an exhibition that you normally wouldn't. It is the freedom we have in life to try new things, be bold, and challenge ourselves that brings us joy.
Volunteer
Observe the world around you and help make it a better place. Consider volunteering to support those who are in need. You will find joy in the simple task of giving back to your local community and knowing you are making a selfless difference.
Even the act of supporting and guiding others will give you a boost. Enjoy those tiny, worthwhile human interactions that make life vibrant and exciting.
Whether you’re watching a sunrise or a sunset, whether you're experiencing a new hobby for the first time or are simply enjoying the beauty nature has to offer, there are plenty of ways to enjoy the smaller moments in life. Be bold and be adventurous!
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Grow Through What You Go Through
Embrace life's challenges as opportunities for personal growth by adopting a growth mindset, building resilience, and finding strength in adversity. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Viktor Cvetovic via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Life is an unpredictable journey filled with highs and lows, successes and setbacks, joys and sorrows. While we often celebrate the moments of triumph, it is the challenges we face that truly shape who we are. The concept of "growing through what you go through" encapsulates the idea that our most difficult experiences are often the ones that lead to the most profound personal growth. This article explores how embracing challenges and learning from them can transform us, enabling us to emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient.
The Inevitability of Adversity
No one is immune to hardship. Whether it’s a career setback, a personal loss, a relationship breakdown, or a health crisis, adversity is an inevitable part of life. However, it’s not the adversity itself that defines us, but how we respond to it. When faced with difficult situations, we have a choice: we can let them defeat us, or we can use them as opportunities for growth.
Embracing a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is the belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. This mindset is crucial when dealing with adversity. Instead of seeing challenges as insurmountable obstacles, those with a growth mindset view them as opportunities to learn and improve. This perspective allows us to approach difficulties with curiosity rather than fear, and with perseverance rather than despair.
The Power of Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to change, and keep going in the face of adversity. It’s a quality that is not innate but can be cultivated through experience. When we face challenges and overcome them, we build resilience. Each time we confront a difficult situation and come out on the other side, we gain confidence in our ability to handle whatever life throws our way.
Resilience also involves the ability to find meaning in our struggles. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychologist, famously wrote about the importance of finding purpose in suffering. According to Frankl, those who can find meaning in their hardships are more likely to survive and thrive. This perspective shift—from seeing ourselves as victims of circumstance to seeing ourselves as active participants in our own growth—can be transformative.
Learning Through Pain
Pain, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, is a powerful teacher. It forces us to confront our vulnerabilities, reevaluate our priorities, and often, to make changes we might have been avoiding. While it’s natural to want to avoid pain, doing so can prevent us from experiencing the growth that comes from working through it.
When we allow ourselves to fully experience our pain, we gain valuable insights into ourselves and our lives. We learn about our strengths and weaknesses, our fears and desires, our values and beliefs. This self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. It enables us to make more informed decisions, build healthier relationships, and live more authentically.
The Role of Support Systems
While personal growth is an individual journey, it doesn’t mean we have to go through it alone. Having a strong support system can make a significant difference in how we navigate challenges. Friends, family, mentors, and even professional counselors can provide the encouragement, perspective, and guidance we need to keep moving forward.
Sharing our struggles with others also helps us feel less isolated and more connected. It reminds us that we’re not alone in our experiences and that others have faced similar challenges and come out stronger. This sense of connection can be incredibly empowering and can reinforce our belief in our ability to grow through adversity.
The Ripple Effect of Growth
When we grow through what we go through, the impact extends beyond our personal lives. As we become more resilient, compassionate, and self-aware, we influence those around us in positive ways. Our growth can inspire others to face their own challenges with courage and determination. Moreover, as we develop greater empathy and understanding, we become better equipped to support others in their journeys.
This ripple effect of personal growth contributes to the well-being of our communities and society as a whole. By cultivating our own resilience and helping others do the same, we create a more compassionate and supportive world.
Growing through what you go through is a powerful principle that encourages us to embrace life’s challenges as opportunities for personal growth. By adopting a growth mindset, building resilience, learning from pain, and seeking support, we can navigate adversity with grace and emerge stronger on the other side. In doing so, we not only transform our own lives but also contribute to the growth and well-being of those around us. Life’s challenges are inevitable, but how we choose to respond to them defines the trajectory of our personal development.
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Breaking Free: How to Overcome People-Pleasing
Learn to recognize and overcome people-pleasing habits to boost self-confidence, set healthy boundaries, and foster genuine relationships. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Igor Alecsander via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
The desire to be liked and accepted can often lead individuals down the path of people-pleasing. While seeking approval and making others happy can feel rewarding, this habit can become detrimental to one's mental health and personal growth when taken to extremes. Understanding people-pleasing and learning how to stop it are crucial steps toward building self-confidence and fostering authentic relationships.
What is People-Pleasing?
People-pleasing refers to the compulsion to put others' needs and desires ahead of one's own. This behavior often stems from a deep-seated fear of rejection, conflict, or disapproval. People-pleasers tend to say "yes" to requests they would rather decline, avoid voicing their own opinions, and strive to maintain harmony at all costs.
This pattern of behavior can result in various negative consequences, including:
Burnout: Constantly prioritizing others can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion.
Resentment: Suppressing one's needs can breed feelings of frustration and bitterness.
Loss of Identity: Over time, people-pleasers may lose touch with their own desires and values.
Ineffective Relationships: Relationships based on appeasement rather than genuine connection can lack depth and authenticity.
How to Stop People-Pleasing
Overcoming people-pleasing is a process that involves self-awareness, boundary-setting, and developing assertiveness. Here are some strategies to help break free from this habit:
1. Recognize the Patterns
The first step in overcoming people-pleasing is recognizing when and why you engage in this behavior. Reflect on situations where you felt compelled to please others at your own expense. Consider the underlying fears or beliefs driving these actions, such as the fear of conflict or the need for approval.
2. Understand Your Value
A strong sense of self-worth is crucial in combating people-pleasing tendencies. Remind yourself that your value is not contingent on others' approval. Engage in self-compassion practices, such as positive affirmations and self-reflection, to reinforce your inherent worth.
3. Set Boundaries
Learning to set and maintain boundaries is essential for prioritizing your well-being. Start by identifying your limits and communicating them clearly to others. Remember, saying "no" is not inherently negative—it's an important part of self-care. Practice assertive communication by expressing your needs and preferences calmly and respectfully.
4. Embrace Discomfort
Overcoming people-pleasing involves confronting discomfort and potential conflict. Understand that not everyone will be pleased with your decisions, and that’s okay. Embrace the discomfort of disappointing others as part of the process of prioritizing your own needs.
5. Practice Self-Reflection
Regular self-reflection can help you stay in tune with your needs and desires. Journaling or meditating can provide clarity on what truly matters to you. This practice will help you align your actions with your values rather than external expectations.
6. Seek Support
Breaking free from people-pleasing is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide guidance and encouragement. Sharing your journey with others can help you stay accountable and motivated.
7. Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step you take toward asserting yourself and prioritizing your needs is a victory. Celebrating these achievements can boost your confidence and reinforce positive behavior changes.
Overcoming people-pleasing is a journey that requires patience and persistence. By understanding the roots of this behavior and actively working to change it, you can cultivate a healthier relationship with yourself and others. Embrace the power of saying "no," trust in your inherent worth, and create relationships that are built on mutual respect and authenticity. In doing so, you will find greater fulfillment and freedom in your life.
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It’s Not Your Fault: Five Things to Stop Blaming Yourself For
Let go of self-blame and embrace self-compassion by understanding that you are not responsible for uncontrollable circumstances, others' actions, past mistakes, imperfection, or natural emotions. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: PeopleImages via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
In a world where self-criticism often overshadows self-compassion, it's important to remind ourselves that not everything is within our control. Blaming yourself for things beyond your reach can lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and decreased self-esteem. Here are five things you shouldn’t blame yourself for:
1. Other People's Feelings and Actions
It’s natural to care about how others feel, especially those close to you. However, holding yourself accountable for someone else's emotions or behavior is unfair to you. Everyone is responsible for their own reactions and decisions. While your actions can influence others, their feelings and responses are ultimately their responsibility. Instead of blaming yourself, focus on open communication and understanding, but remember that you cannot control how someone else feels or acts.
2. Uncontrollable Circumstances
Life is unpredictable, and many events are beyond your control, such as natural disasters, economic downturns, or unexpected changes in plans. Blaming yourself for not foreseeing or preventing these events is not only unproductive but also unjust. It’s important to recognize the difference between what you can change and what you cannot. Accepting this distinction can help you focus on adapting and moving forward rather than dwelling on guilt and blame.
3. Past Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes—it's an essential part of being human and growing. Dwelling on past errors can hinder your ability to learn from them and move on. Instead of blaming yourself, try to view mistakes as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. Reflect on what you have learned and how you can apply that knowledge to future situations. Forgiving yourself is crucial for personal development and emotional well-being.
4. Not Being Perfect
The pursuit of perfection is often a source of self-blame and dissatisfaction. No one is perfect, and setting unrealistic standards for yourself can lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy. Embrace your imperfections as part of what makes you unique. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and recognize that mistakes and setbacks are part of the journey. Practicing self-compassion and acknowledging your strengths can help reduce self-blame and build resilience.
5. Feeling Sad or Anxious
Emotions are a natural part of life, and experiencing sadness or anxiety is not something you should blame yourself for. These feelings can be triggered by various factors, such as stress, change, or loss. Instead of blaming yourself for feeling this way, acknowledge your emotions and explore healthy ways to cope with them. This might include talking to a friend, practicing mindfulness, or seeking professional support if needed. Accepting your feelings as valid and normal can help you manage them more effectively.
Letting go of self-blame requires patience and practice, but it’s a vital step towards improving mental health and overall well-being. By recognizing that not everything is within your control, you can cultivate a healthier mindset and focus on what truly matters—your growth, happiness, and resilience.
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7 Tips to Get Your Mind on Your Side
Building self-belief is essential for achieving your dreams and overcoming self-doubt, empowering you to reach your full potential and live authentically. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
Self-belief isn’t optional. It’s vital. Think of all the things you haven’t accomplished or tried because you didn’t have enough belief in yourself. Self-doubt will always creep in at times. That’s why it’s so important to have an excess of belief in yourself.
Create a reserve of self-belief and you really can accomplish nearly anything you can imagine. What would you do if you believed you could do essentially anything? How would your life be different? How would you feel?
If you need a little more faith in yourself, try hese tips:
Examine your beliefs. You weren’t born with any limiting beliefs. You learned every single one of them. We all learn to limit ourselves unfairly. Give yourself the credit you deserve. Think about the limiting beliefs you already have. Do what you can to discard them. Ask yourself if this limiting belief is really legitimate. Where did it come from? What evidence do you have that it simply isn’t true?
Give yourself an unlimited number of opportunities to be successful. It’s easy to be filled with doubt if you think you only have once chance to get it right. Give yourself permission to “fail” as many times as necessary. Learn something from each attempt. This is a great way to build self-belief.
Eliminate self-criticism. As soon as self-doubt starts to invade your thoughts, ask yourself where that inner critic is coming from. Are you channeling a negative experience from the past? Is the source of this criticism credible? It rarely is. It can be challenging to quiet your mind, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it drag you down. Focus on positive self-talk.
Trust and love yourself. For one month, try being your best friend instead of your worst enemy. How do you treat your best friend or your children? Probably a lot better than you treat yourself. Give yourself the gift of kindness.
Coach yourself. Everyone needs a little support and encouragement. So when you find yourself struggling, consider what you would say to someone that you really believed in if they were feeling the same way you are. When self-doubt starts to creep in, take a few minutes to coach yourself.
Think about how you would like to act. Think about how you would think and behave if you were full of self-confidence. You can effectively borrow traits from others, too. Who are some of your heroes? Sometimes it easier to imagine others dealing with a situation than to imagine ourselves. See yourself acting the way your hero would act.
Remember all your past victories. We’ve all accomplished some pretty impressive things, but we’re quick to forget them. Grab a pen and some paper and list all the successes you’ve experienced in life, no matter how great or small. If you need help, ask a trusted friend or family member. You might be surprised at what you hear.
Self-belief isn’t about becoming arrogant or turning a blind-eye to one’s flaws. The belief you have in yourself needs to be focused on what you wish to become. You can have weaknesses. Everyone does. But there is value in being relaxed about your weaknesses and working to strengthen them.
A strong belief in yourself is a sure ticket to living authentically. You can make it easier to believe in yourself by learning to love yourself inside and out – mind, body, and soul.
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The Flaw of Comparing Yourself to Others
Overcome the self-defeating habit of comparing yourself to others by focusing on personal growth and self-improvement to achieve true contentment and joy. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: PeopleImages via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
If you’re lacking contentment, it could be because you’re comparing yourself to others. You’ve been on Facebook and seen the pictures of other people living their seemingly exciting lives. It only takes a moment to find yourself wishing you had someone else’s career, body, house, or vacation. Comparing ourselves to others is a common activity.
But there’s a critical flaw in this mental exercise. You simply don’t have all the information. Someone might have a great body, but they might be seriously ill. That great vacation might have been paid for with an inheritance after a family member passed away.
A smarter strategy is to compare yourself to your own recent past. How is your figure compared to 6 months ago? How are your finances compared to last year? If you’re making progress, congratulate yourself. Most people aren’t doing nearly as well. They’ve weighed the same 210 lbs. and had the same $1,200 in their bank account for the last 20 years.
If your life isn’t moving forward, then you ought to take a pause and address the situation.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Think about that statement and decide if it rings true for you.
Check out a few more tips that can free you from unnecessary comparisons:
Catch yourself early in the process. As soon as you realize that you’re making comparisons to others, shift your focus to something else. You can control your thoughts, so use that ability to your advantage.
Remember that the journey is what matters. Everyone is on a journey to learn, create, and become something unique. It’s an individual experience that isn’t impacted by what others are doing or accomplishing.
Comparing yourself to others is a game that can’t be won. There are a lot of people in the world. Through sheer statistics, there will constantly be someone with a more attractive spouse, more money, a better car, or a more interesting life.There’s no way to compete with 8 billion people in every facet of life.
Look to your strengths. Comparisons tend to focus on our weaknesses. We usually compare our shortcomings against others. Embrace your strengths and be proud. Now use those strengths to your advantage.
List the things you have. Comparisons highlight the things we lack. It’s much more productive to think about the things you do have. Your mood and frame of mind will be better, and you’ll be in a better position to compete and succeed.
People only let you see the things that want you to see. Sure, they’ll let you see their new BMW and the vacation pictures from Maui. But you’ll never see the tears and fights in the bedroom, or the verbal abuse they take from their mother-in-law. Keep in mind that social media is primarily used for showing the good, rather than telling the bad.
It’s just a habit. Our lives are filled with habits, and some of them are harmful. Poor mental habits are restrictive. It’s like going through life with the emergency brake on. Labeling the tendency to compare as a habit has a powerful advantage because we know that habits can be broken.
Comparing yourself to others is limiting and self-defeating. No one can be expected to compare favorably to the vast number of people in the world. Make an effort to limit your comparisons to your own recent past. Are you making progress or backsliding? If you continue to enhance the important areas, your life is likely to be fulfilling and exciting!