“That’s My Cousin”: The Power of Cousin Bonds in the Black Community
In the Black community, cousin relationships go beyond bloodlines, serving as lifelong bonds of friendship, support, and shared cultural identity that shape our earliest memories and hold families together. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: lisegagne via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
In the Black community, “cousin” doesn’t just mean your mama’s sister’s kid. It’s deeper than blood. It’s a bond, a lifeline, a whole experience. For so many of us, cousins are our first best friends, our first partners-in-crime, and sometimes the only people who understand the full flavor of what we’re going through. In a world that often tries to break us down, cousin relationships build us up.
Growing up, cousins were the ones we sat at the kiddie table with during Thanksgiving, sneaking extra rolls and giggling through family gossip. They were the ones we shared rooms with during summer breaks, staying up late talking about everything from cartoons to crushes. Cousins helped us learn how to roast, how to play spades, how to braid hair, how to defend ourselves — and how to laugh through pain. That bond doesn’t fade with time. If anything, it gets stronger.
And let’s be real: in many Black families, the cousin network is what holds the whole structure together. We may not always come from traditional nuclear homes, but our families are rich with aunties, uncles, Big Mamas, and cousins who step up, show out, and show love. Your cousin might’ve been your babysitter, your ride to school, your first call after a breakup. They’re your people — your tribe — when the world gets cold.
Cousins often grow up like siblings, especially in households where resources were tight and love had to stretch wide. That closeness builds a unique understanding, an unspoken language that even your closest friends might not get. You share memories, music, inside jokes, and sometimes trauma. But the beauty is in how cousins help you carry it — laughing, praying, healing together.
In today’s world, where everything moves fast and people feel more disconnected than ever, those cousin ties are sacred. They remind us where we come from. They keep us grounded. And for the next generation, it’s up to us to keep that spirit alive — making sure our kids know their cousins, grow with them, and love them like we did.
So when we say, “That’s my cousin,” it’s not just a label. It’s pride. It’s history. It’s love.
Hold your cousins close. Call them. Check on them. Celebrate them. Because in this community, cousin love is family love — and family is everything.
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