Choosing Health Over Length — In Life and in Love
Prioritizing health over longevity in life and relationships means letting go of what no longer serves your well-being and embracing emotional, mental, and relational alignment. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
When we think about health, our minds often go straight to physical wellness—eating clean, getting in daily steps, scheduling regular checkups. But health isn’t just about the body; it’s about our emotional, mental, and relational wellbeing, too. And sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do—for ourselves and for those we care about—is to let go, even if it means something ends sooner than we hoped.
There’s a common trap we fall into: believing that the length of something is proof of its worth. We celebrate long relationships, long careers, long lives. But what if the real measure of value isn’t length, but quality?
This idea especially hits home in relationships. We’re often taught to fight for love, to stick things out no matter what, to believe that longevity equals success. But staying in something that drains us, damages us, or slowly erodes our sense of self isn’t romantic—it’s exhausting. Choosing to prioritize the health of a relationship over the length of it can be one of the most powerful, loving choices we make.
Sometimes that means having the hard conversation. Sometimes it means walking away—not because you gave up, but because you chose peace. Because you finally understood that real love shouldn’t cost your wellbeing.
Healthy relationships are marked by mutual respect, communication, trust, and growth. They’re not perfect, but they’re safe. They nurture you. When those foundations crumble and can’t be rebuilt, clinging to the shell of something “for the sake of time” only leads to more hurt.
The same principle applies to life itself. We’re constantly bombarded with ways to extend our years—diets, supplements, hacks—but what’s the point of a long life if it’s filled with stress, disconnection, or suffering? A shorter life full of meaning, love, laughter, and alignment with your values can be far richer than one stretched out in survival mode.
Choosing health over length is about intentional living. It’s about asking: Does this nourish me? Am I growing here? Is this kind to my soul? If the answer is no, then you owe it to yourself to realign—even if it means letting go of what’s familiar.
In the end, we remember the moments we felt most alive, not just the number of years we lived. The same is true in love. A short, healthy relationship that helped you grow is far more meaningful than a long one that left you smaller.
So whether it’s life or love—choose health. Always.
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Practicing Gratitude: A Radical Act of Joy
Practicing gratitude as a Black person is a revolutionary act of joy, resilience, and healing that honors our ancestors, celebrates our culture, and empowers us to thrive despite systemic challenges. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Tassil via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Being Black in this world is a unique experience—one filled with beauty, resilience, and deep cultural richness, but also with challenges that can be exhausting. Every day, we navigate spaces that weren’t always designed for us, carry generational struggles, and face both overt and subtle forms of discrimination. Yet, despite all of that, we continue to create, thrive, and love. And one of the most powerful ways we can protect our joy is through the practice of gratitude.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring struggles or pretending oppression doesn’t exist. It’s about recognizing our power, our community, and the blessings that sustain us. It’s about reclaiming our joy in a world that often tries to dim our light.
Gratitude as Resistance
There’s something revolutionary about choosing to see the good in your life when society constantly reminds you of its hardships. When we take time to acknowledge what we’re grateful for—our ancestors’ sacrifices, our culture’s resilience, the love we share with our people—we are resisting narratives that tell us we should always be struggling.
Black joy is an act of defiance. Gratitude strengthens that joy by reminding us that, despite what history and systems have tried to do, we are still here. We are still creating, still innovating, still loving, still pushing forward.
Finding Gratitude in the Everyday
Practicing gratitude doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes in the morning to reflect on what you appreciate, journaling about small wins, or even telling your people how much they mean to you. Here are some ways to integrate gratitude into your daily life:
1. Honor Your Ancestors – Take a moment to reflect on those who came before you. Whether through prayer, storytelling, or simply acknowledging their sacrifices, expressing gratitude for their resilience is a powerful way to stay grounded.
2. Celebrate Black Creativity – Be grateful for the music, art, literature, and innovation that Black people have contributed to the world. Whether it’s a song that lifts your spirit or a book that inspires you, take time to appreciate our cultural genius.
3. Thank Your Community – From family and friends to mentors and strangers who support you, recognize the people who show up for you. Gratitude strengthens our bonds and reminds us that we’re not alone.
4. Appreciate Your Own Growth – You’ve survived things that were meant to break you. Give yourself credit. Express gratitude for your strength, your growth, and the lessons you’ve learned.
Gratitude Keeps Us Whole
Practicing gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means choosing to see the beauty in the midst of struggle, to uplift ourselves, and to keep our spirits intact. In a world that often tries to wear us down, gratitude is a tool for survival, healing, and joy. And that, in itself, is revolutionary.
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Navigating Wellness in a Hyper-Productive Society
In a world driven by hustle culture, finding wellness means redefining success, setting boundaries, and prioritizing balance over burnout for a more fulfilling and sustainable life. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Marco VDM via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
In a world that glorifies hustle culture, self-worth is often measured by output. From the moment we wake up, we’re bombarded with productivity hacks, morning routines optimized for efficiency, and the pressure to squeeze the most out of every minute. While ambition isn’t inherently bad, an obsession with doing more can take a serious toll on mental and physical health. The challenge, then, is finding balance—navigating wellness without feeling like we’re falling behind.
The Productivity Trap
Modern society rewards busyness. Whether it’s climbing the corporate ladder, monetizing hobbies, or optimizing daily routines, we’re conditioned to believe that slowing down is synonymous with laziness. This mindset leads to burnout, anxiety, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. Even rest becomes another productivity tool—something we “schedule” so we can get back to work with renewed energy.
But wellness isn’t just about recovering from overwork; it’s about creating a sustainable lifestyle that prioritizes health, joy, and fulfillment beyond professional success.
Redefining Success
The first step in navigating wellness is shifting our definition of success. Instead of equating it with output, we should consider a more holistic view—one that includes mental health, relationships, personal growth, and overall happiness. True success isn’t just about how much we accomplish but how we feel while doing it.
This shift requires unlearning societal expectations and tuning into what actually makes us feel fulfilled. Are we working long hours because we genuinely enjoy our careers, or because we fear falling behind? Are we saying yes to every opportunity because we want to, or because we feel guilty for saying no?
Practical Strategies for Wellness
While mindset shifts are crucial, practical strategies can help reinforce a healthier approach to wellness:
1. Prioritize Rest Without Guilt – Rest is not a reward for hard work; it’s a necessity. Quality sleep, relaxation, and leisure should be non-negotiable, not just tools to boost productivity.
2. Set Boundaries – Overworking isn’t a badge of honor. Define clear work-life boundaries, whether that means logging off at a certain time, limiting weekend work, or saying no to additional responsibilities.
3. Engage in Activities Without an End Goal – Not everything needs to be monetized or optimized. Read a book for enjoyment, take a walk without tracking steps, or engage in hobbies just because they make you happy.
4. Practice Mindfulness – Being present in the moment can reduce stress and help break the cycle of constant busyness. Simple practices like deep breathing, journaling, or unplugging from technology can make a difference.
5. Reevaluate Your Goals – Regularly check in with yourself. Are your goals aligned with your well-being? If not, adjust them. Productivity should serve your life, not consume it.
Wellness in a hyper-productive society isn’t about abandoning ambition—it’s about integrating balance. We don’t have to choose between success and well-being; we just need to redefine what success means. By prioritizing health, joy, and sustainability over endless hustle, we create a life that’s not just productive but genuinely fulfilling.
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Sisterhood in Self-Care: Building a Supportive Community for Black Women
Building a supportive self-care community among Black women fosters empowerment, healing, and mutual support through shared experiences and intentional connection. We discuss it here!
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By: Jamila Gomez
Building a supportive self-care community among Black women can be a transformative journey of mutual support, empowerment, and shared healing. In a world where daily stressors and systemic challenges often weigh heavily, connecting with other Black women who understand these experiences can provide a powerful sense of belonging and validation. Here are a few guiding principles to consider when fostering such a community.
1. Start with Intention
Begin by defining what you hope to create. Are you looking for a group focused on mental wellness, physical well-being, spiritual growth, or a combination of these elements? Establishing a clear vision helps set the tone, shape group activities, and attract those who will benefit the most from this space.
2. Choose the Right Platforms
It can be helpful to utilize both online and offline spaces to build your community. Social media platforms, private group chats, and video conference tools enable members to stay connected across different locations and time zones. Meanwhile, in-person gatherings—like monthly coffee meetups or wellness circles—foster deeper, face-to-face connections. Striking a balance between virtual and physical interactions ensures that the community remains accessible and engaging.
3. Create a Safe Space
A supportive self-care community thrives on trust and authenticity. Lay down ground rules that emphasize respect, confidentiality, and kindness. Encourage members to speak openly about their challenges, anxieties, and triumphs. Recognizing that many Black women face microaggressions, discrimination, and unique mental health stressors, a culture of understanding and empathy is essential.
4. Encourage Collective Learning
Sharing knowledge and resources is a key aspect of community building. Plan skill-sharing sessions on topics ranging from mindfulness practices to financial wellness. Invite experts—such as therapists, dietitians, or fitness instructors—who understand the specific experiences of Black women. This ensures that discussions are tailored and culturally relevant, enriching the group’s collective wisdom.
5. Celebrate Individual and Collective Wins
Acknowledging achievements, whether big or small, fosters motivation and solidarity. This can be as simple as hosting a virtual “praise break” session where members highlight personal wins from the week, or organizing an in-person gathering to celebrate milestones like job promotions or new business ventures. Recognizing success helps reinforce the sense of unity and support within the group.
6. Practice Sustained Self-Care
Encourage members to develop personalized self-care routines that address their unique emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Provide regular check-ins to keep each other accountable. Recommendations for journaling, guided meditation, yoga classes, or nature walks can enhance overall well-being. By keeping self-care at the center of everything you do, members can better support themselves and each other.
7. Prioritize Growth and Adaptation
As life circumstances change, your community’s needs will evolve too. Routinely assess what is working and what could be improved. Staying flexible ensures the group remains relevant, uplifting, and supportive as members grow and flourish together.
Through intentional organization, authenticity, and shared commitment, Black women can cultivate powerful self-care networks that nurture strength, healing, and collective uplift.