"You Talk Like A White Person": Why Is Articulate Associated With White?
We’ve all heard the phrase “you talk like a white person”, whether it was you saying it or someone said it to you, or you just overheard it, but when did speaking properly and pronouncing your words become associated with white people?
By: Omar Cook
We’ve all heard the phrase “you talk like a white person”, whether it was you saying it or someone said it to you, or you just overheard it. Probably out of our own youthful ignorance we figured this phrase was acceptable to say to each other. I’ve always wondered that since black and white people speak the exact same language in this country, when did there become a distinction between talking black and talking white? Depending on what part of the country you may be from, you may have variations in your slang, I get that, but when did speaking properly and pronouncing your words become associated with white people?
I’m all for speaking comfortably around your friends and family, but when it comes to saying someone speaks white because they are articulate, that’s pretty much a diss to all black people saying that we don’t normally speak our words correctly, and we’ve accepted this as ok. I never actually realized until I got older just how disrespectful this phrase was. There are certain black people that are not comfortable in the way that they speak and their own education that they feel they need to put down the next black person for actually speaking with some sense. Speaking in ebonics seems to be a requirement in the black community or you get outcasted into the “you talk like a white person” category.
The biggest issue with this is that we’re giving white people the benefit of the doubt by saying they naturally speak better than us, which is untrue! The notion that good and proper is associated with white has to go. In reality, there’s black people out here trying to run businesses and build brands for themselves and nobody has time to be sounding ignorant making business deals or networking. Speaking with some sense is not speaking “white”, it’s speaking like you learned something in english class and the millions of dollars that are attached to your name depend on whether you can articulate your business plan correctly. “You talk like a white person” is out.
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Cyntoia Brown Granted Clemency After 15 Years Is Long Overdue
After 15 long years, Cyntoia Brown was granted clemency after being sentenced to life in prison at the age of 16.
By: Omar Cook
Cyntoia Brown was given a life sentence for killing Johnny Mitchell Allen, 43, who bought her for sex at the age of 16 years old. After serving 15 long years in prison, Brown who is now 30 has been granted clemency by Tennessee’s Governor Bill Haslam and will be released to parole supervision on August 7.
"Cyntoia Brown committed, by her own admission, a horrific crime at the age of 16. Yet, imposing a life sentence on a juvenile that would require her to serve at least 51 years before even being eligible for parole consideration is too harsh, especially in light of the extraordinary steps Ms. Brown has taken to rebuild her life. Transformation should be accompanied by hope" Haslam said.
Brown’s case has been a high profile case for over a decade and is an example of how people can get caught up in unfortunate situations. In this case, the prosecutors said that Brown shot Allen in the head as he was sleeping, stole his money, guns, and truck and fled the scene. Brown claimed that she had a fear for her life and took the money in fear of coming back empty handed to her pimp named “Cut Throat.” Brown was a victim of sex trafficking at an early age and was tried as for her crime as an adult.
Brown was the feature of a 2011 documentary called "Me Facing Life: Cyntoia's Story," where she describes being forced into a life of prostitution at a young age, sex-trafficked and raped repeatedly. This nightmare reality that Cyntoia Brown was subjected to only got worse when she was handed a life sentence. This case shows the lack of mercy, compassion and understanding that the justice system has for juveniles especially given the circumstances surrounding Brown and how the case happened. Being sex trafficked is one thing, and being sentenced to life as a juvenile for killing the person involved in the act of your sex trafficking is another nightmare in itself. Cyntoia Brown was dealt a bad hand and it’s about time that her life be given a second chance.
This case shines a light on the injustice of sentencing a juvenile to a life sentence. There are many things wrong with the current justice system and at some point there needs to be some reform. It’s not hard to see that this punishment was too harsh, but how many other juveniles have been subjected to ridiculously long sentences without being given a second chance? If Brown hadn’t been granted clemency, she would have had to wait until she was 51 to go up for parole. Many activists and celebrities have been fighting for justice for Cyntoia and through all of the hard work, her day of freedom will come.
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The Opioid Crisis And How It's Affecting Black America
Over the last 2 years, opioids have been attacking the Black communities in alarming numbers. We discuss how the Opioid Crisis has gone virtually unnoticed in Black and Minority communities.
By: Eric Lewis
I'll admit. I had a completely different topic that I considered discussing with you today. It was about electronics and some of the gadgets you must get for the new year (besides your smartphone). I may still even write about it to get you familiar with them. But today I am not going to mention it, because I think given this climate we're in, discussing real issues related to us, especially in the black community: mental health and awareness.
Me choosing to share my thoughts and experience with this comes from a movie I watched just this morning, and listening to a song. Coincidentally, they complement each other in a perfectly haunting harmony. The movie: Beautiful Boy. The song: “Treasure” by Sampha. The movie stars Steve Carell (The Office) and Timothee Chalamet and tells the story of a young man's addiction to meth and the father's struggle to save him. It's based on the memoirs Beautiful Boy by David Sheff and Tweak by Nic Sheff. The movie was a sad and stirring account of Nic's addiction and the multiple relapses that occurred during his journey to stay clean and sober. I will admit, y'all, it was heartbreaking to see this portrayal of abuse and also a constant reminder that addiction affects everyone.
The Opioid Crisis has been widely debated as going pretty much unnoticed in Black and Minority communities, from a societal standpoint. In fact, during the 1970s and 80s, the concern was more on criminalizing minorities with The War On Drugs rather than seeking treatment. Now, with the advent of opioids affecting Rural America, the light has been shined more on a national scale. From a localized level, I'm sure whoever is reading this has been affected by drug addiction and abuse, whether it be family members, friends or environment. Growing up in my hometown, I saw drug and substance abuse around me constantly. I had family members very close to me that fell victim to crack, cocaine, heroin and lots of other illegal substances. It's a paralyzing feeling and constant paranoidal emotion because you know what is wrong, yet feel powerless to help.
Over the last 2 years, opioids have been attacking the Black communities in alarming numbers. From a nationwide standpoint, whites still account for a large number of opioid addiction cases. However, just in Illinois alone, Blacks make up for over a quarter of opioid deaths in the state...and we account for about 15% of the population. In Chicago, the numbers are more staggering: Blacks account for 32% of the population, but about half of all opioid overdose deaths (48%) come from the Black population. Scary numbers, people. What's more scary is the numbers are climbing.
Seeing the movie Beautiful Boy had me reminiscing back to my old days of dealing with people who were addicted to different substances and understanding the pain involved in seeking help. It is a realization that is all too familiar with millions of people. And this movie portrays it in painstaking detail.
It's available for streaming on Amazon Prime Video. The soundtrack (which complements the movie extremely well) is available on your favorite streaming app. I suggest you watch it.
If you or anyone you know struggles with an addiction, do know that the road to recovery starts with a phone call. Please contact 1-844-LifeChange (543-3242) or go to www.LightHouseNetwork.org. It's available 24/7, free and confidential.
Eric Lewis
@TheTmPLife
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Black Movies You Should Be Watching: 'Hav Plenty'
Tons of dope movies fall under the radar that you may have missed out on! Here is a black gem that you should be watching, Hav Plenty!
By: Eric Lewis
I am what most consider a movie junkie. I am significantly tied to all genres of movies. From comedies to art house movies, short films to epic anime, I’ve seen thousands of them. It is what sparked a significant interest in filmmaking. That is why I create short films and narrative podcasts. I love the idea of telling compelling stories, and I love sharing my passion of movies with people.
I also think it is a complete travesty when people miss out on movies that may not have gotten a lot of public press or fell under the radar. Hence, the reason you are reading this today. I would like to share with you some movies I feel you should be watching. Whether new or old, fresh or vintage, I will provide some of these “missed” movies so you can check them out...starting with the 20 year old gem, Hav Plenty.
When it comes to unrequited love, it is a bummer. A serious bummer. Having the thought of someone you have these strong feelings for and it not be reciprocated. Yeah, it sucks. Such the case is explored in pretty and painstaking detail with Hav Plenty. Released in 1998, it was somewhat overlooked by big name releases like Deep Impact and How Stella Got Her Groove Back. What’s fascinating about this movie is the way it was shot. It has a certain level of realism in the filming...almost like the entire movie was shot impromptu.
‘Hav Plenty’
It was written and directed by Chris Cherot. He’s been on record saying the story is based loosely on a previous relationship with a Def Jam executive at the time. It stars Chris as Lee Plenty, Chenoa Maxwell as Havilland Savage and Hill Harper as Michael Simmons. Lee is a struggling novelist that lives in his car and house hops between friends and his mom. Havilland is a well-to-do friend of Lee that decides to invite him to her family home for New Year’s Eve. They are accompanied by Havilland’s sister Leigh, Her husband Felix and Hav’s friend Caroline. In the beginning, it’s apparent Lee’s feelings are pretty strong for Hav and it becomes more obvious through the course of the movie. She is, however, just getting over a serious breakup with her recording artist boyfriend, Michael. Not to mention she’s seriously conceited and controlling.
Throughout the movie, there are more romantic sparks that ignite including Leigh, Caroline and even Hav. I’m not going to give too much of the movie away, but it is definitely a must watch. It’s a great romantic comedy with some real funny parts, and it’s just in time for the New Year! It’s available on Starz (with a subscription) and Amazon Prime. Oh yeah, one last thing. The Hav Plenty Soundtrack is pretty badass too. It compliments the movie extremely well. Produced by Babyface, it has Faith Evans, SWV, John B, Erykah Badu and others. It’s available on YouTube Music, Spotify and other platforms.
If you’ve seen this movie and would like to give your opinion on it, or if you have another movie I feel you should watch, be sure to hit me up @TheTmPLife on Twitter and IG!
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Why Should The Black Community Vote?
In light of the recent midterm elections, many young black people have asked the question, does voting really help the black community? We discuss it here!
By: Deveney Marshall
“Does voting help the black community?”
Many young black people asked this question all over social media as we prepared to vote for this past midterm elections. At first, the question infuriated me. I thought it was beyond ignorant for someone to ask such a thing. Prior to the 2016 election, we watched this country *slowly* progress to being a better place for all. During Obama's presidency, The Affordable Health Care Act was passed, unemployment rates significantly dropped, better terms for student loans were created, and the LGBTQ community was awarded the right to legally marry — all had a grand impact on black lives and each took place by voting. So when I saw people asking this it just didn't make sense.
I began to reflect on what exactly did those people mean by voting doesn't do anything for the black community. I came up with a few theories but none of them were solid enough to be the sole reason. Then, I asked myself ”who is the black community?” The short answer would be all of us that fall within the parameter of being black, but the truth is it's incredibly more complex than that.
When you think about it, defining the black community is not easy. Black people are not monolithic, we don't all have the same experiences. Depending on our genders, sexual orientation, socioeconomic classes, and physicality our experiences differ. However, the one thing all black people deal with is the unspeakable fear and pain that hangs above our heads every day. Sadly, that pain and fear we collectively feel is what creates the basis of our community. And while voting may eradicate a lot of things, it will not remove that.
The oppression and backlash we receive as black people have been ingrained in the foundation of this country, and quite frankly it is not something we can “vote out.” On some level, all Americans including Black Americans, participate in the oppression we feel as a race — in order for that to change we would have to first acknowledge how each and every one of us contributes to it. We can’t continue to blame all -isms on white supremacy. Yes, white supremacy acted as the catalyst for all hate in this country, it still does not excuse the suffering we inflict on one another.
As a people, we engage in colorism, sexism, classism, homophobia, and transphobia, and a vast amount of our people are significantly affected when we do. We can’t continue to act as if certain issues aren’t problems for the black community. If something is negatively affecting one of us, then it collectively affects all of us — as a marginalized community, we don’t get the luxury of excluding some of our people.
We vote to dismantle systems that oppress us.
While most of us can agree a severe overhaul is needed to change the way Black People are oppressed in this country, in the meantime we can do what we can to fix the problem, and one of those solutions is voting. Voting gives us the opportunity to change the world we live in. It gives us the right to choose better policies and people to represent our voices. Voting may not be able to solve all of the black community’s problems, but it does have an impact on us. When we don't vote we allow this country to control our narrative — and I don't know about you but I am sick and tired of this country telling me who I am, what I face, and what my solutions should be.
Stop allowing non-voters tell you voting doesn't do anything for us as black people, it does plenty. If our votes didn't make a difference in this country they wouldn't try so hard to suppress them. I know we hate to acknowledge this, but we are still Americans, facing American issues, and those same policies that affect everyone else, affects us too. When you vote, you are voting for the change you want to see as a Black American, and that alone will have a great influence on the Black community.
Until Next Time,
Deveney M.
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Danye Jones Was Lynched in 2018: We Should Be Talking About This More
24 year old Danye Jones was lynched in mid October in Missouri. Black men are still dying as a result of racist acts without getting the coverage and justice they deserve. Don’t let his story go unnoticed.
By: Omar Cook
Every parent’s worst fear is to find out that their child has died, but to find out that your son was lynched is a nightmare no parent should have to endure. On October 17, Melissa McKinnies found her 24 year old son, Danye Jones, hanging from a tree in their own backyard outside of St. Louis County, Missouri. The fact that this happened in 2018, just lets us know that we aren’t as progressive of a society as we think we are.
McKinnies found her son dangling from a bed sheet that did not belong to them and insists that her son was murdered even though the situation is being investigated as a suicide. McKinnies posted a picture of Danye’s lynching in a facebook post that has been deleted saying “This is what I woke up to. They lynched my baby,” she wrote. “I’m sick and losing my mind but I had to let the world see what they did to my baby.”
Melissa McKinnies was a prominent activist and protester in the city and helped setup protests during the Ferguson uprisings in 2014. “She said he was targeted and murdered in retaliation for her activism,” according to the Post-Dispatch. “They watched my house and when my husband and my son would approach the car, they would drive off,” McKinnies told KMOV-TV. This is the third death involving Ferguson activists as DeAndre Joshua, was murdered in 2014, and Darren Seals in 2016. Both of these men were found inside of vehicles that had been torched.
“Three untimely deaths in St. Louis County over the past four years have inspired speculation that Ferguson protesters are being systematically murdered,” The Washington Post reports, “although so far there is no evidence to suggest that the parallels are anything more than coincidental.” It’s unfortunate that black people can’t protest in this country without receiving threats or being ridiculed for speaking out on issues. NFL players kneel for situations like this, but there are people who choose to ignore that racism is still a major problem in this country, and will try to sweep the issues under the rug to fit their agenda.
McKinnies may have to face the harsh reality that this case may not get the justice it deserves. These are the types of stories that mainstream media needs to be covering but instead it’s up to black sources to cover our own stories. As a black parent, you almost have to be cautious every time your child steps foot outside of the house. It’s sad that there are people that are filled with so much hate that they have to murder someone because they have opposing beliefs. This is the America that we still live in. Racism is very much alive and black men are still dying as a result of it.
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Don Lemon: "The Biggest Terror Threat In This Country Is White Men"
CNN’s Don Lemon did nothing but tell us what we already know. "The biggest terror threat in this country is white men."
By: Omar Cook
CNN’s Don Lemon did nothing but tell the truth on Chris Cuomo’s show Monday night by saying what we already know. “We have to stop demonizing people and realize the biggest terror threat in this country is white men, most of them radicalized to the right, and we have to start doing something about them,” Lemon told Cuomo. “There is no travel ban on them,” he continued. “There is no ban on—you know, they had the Muslim ban. There is no white guy ban.”
I mean ask yourself, whatever color you may be that is reading this, did he lie? As fed up as Don Lemon is, i’m about fed up too because we give white people too many passes for the shit they be doing. White people have been doing evil things to humanity since the beginning of time but they love to pass the blame on other races for whatever an issue may be. White people literally had a whole system of slavery in this country, but are now somehow on high alert for “terrorists” of middle eastern decent, and fear for their safety by saying they need to build a wall to keep immigrants out.
Everyday, I become more under the impression that white people as a whole are delusional in the fact that they refuse to acknowledge their own wrong doings. Everyday Donald Trump says something thats off the charts racist, and yet he’s still in office. White people also threatened to boycott football games and burn up their nikes because they are upset that black people are tired of getting shot up by law enforcement and finally made a stand about it. Most of the biggest incidents in America, have come at the hands of white people (mass shootings. bombings, slavery, Jim Crow, Native American genocide, wars, etc, etc.)
Of course Don Lemon’s comments weren’t received with the best criticism. Donald Trump Jr let it be known how he felt.
Is Don Lemon really a moron for saying what’s real? If this post offended anyone, sorry but not sorry. People of color are offended every single day, and it’s encouraged by the man sitting in the oval office. Donald Trump Jr is quick to point out his outrage about Lemon’s comments, but how about putting the energy elsewhere? Like showing your outrage for the young black man, Danye Jones, that just got lynched in Missouri? That would be too much to ask for, to show compassion when black people need it most.
Don Lemon thank you for keeping it 100, because in this day and age, our voices will go uncensored.
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Black Millennials Need To Go Out And Vote: Black Candidates You Need To Know
With the current political landscape, it is imperative that black millennials go out and vote! Here are some significant black candidates running for office that you need to know!
By: Omar Cook
We’re living in a current moment of a huge political shift. One that took us from 8 years with a black democratic president, to a new regime that brings an entirely new wave of division and hate driven politics. With that being said, it’s imperative that black millennials go out and vote. This is bigger than the cliche saying of “every vote counts", but our generation needs to be leaders in making sure that the black voice is heard through politics.
Black millennials are an extremely important factor in all areas of American culture so there is no reason that our own voices should not be loud in the political landscape. With that being said, there are a number of black democratic candidates that are running for office in this current election and it’s up to us to put them in position.
Andrew Gillum
Office Running For: Governor, Florida
Gillum, a Florida A&M graduate, is the current mayor of Tallahassee and has advocated for bringing the state’s minimum wage to $15 an hour and expanding health care coverage.
Ben Jealous
Office Running For: Governor, Maryland
Ben Jealous is the former President and CEO of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and has advocated for reducing the state’s prison population, and working to reimburse teachers who are using their own money to pay for school supplies for their classrooms and and also wants to get rid of the the sales tax.
Stacy Adams
Office Running For: Governor, Georgia
Adams was elected into the state’s house of representatives in 2006 and has been fighting against the republican agenda since day 1. She already made history in May as the first Black female major-party nominee for governor in the U.S. She has the chance to make history again as not only Georgia’s first female governor, but as the America’s first black female governor. This is a big deal.
Letitia “Tish” James
Office Running For: Attorney General, New York
Working as New York City’s public advocate, Letitia James has worked to fight on behalf of working class New Yorkers for things such as securing heat for tenants in public housing units. If Letita wins, she would be New York first Black attorney general.
Ayanna Pressley
Office Running For: U.S. Representative for the 7th Congressional District, Massachusetts
Ayanna Pressley is expected to become the first Black woman to represent Massachusetts since she will have no Republican opponent running against here in the November election. She will also likely be a fierce critic to President Trump once in office office. In her primary victory speech, she had some very direct criticisms of Trump calling him “A racist, misogynistic, truly empathy-bankrupt man” and vowed that “change is coming.”
Antonio Delgado
Office Running For: U.S. Representative for the 19th Congressional District, New York
Antonio Delgado is highly educated as a Rhodes scholar who earned his master’s degree in philosophy and political science from the University of Oxford in England and is also a graduate of Harvard Law School Delgado. Delgado is working to create thousands of jobs to his district, and reform the country’s tax code, but ultimately he wants everyone to have access to universal health care! A Delgado win, along with a couple other close races, could help Democrats gain control of the U.S. House of Representatives in November.
Juliana Stratton
Office Running For: Lieutenant Governor, Illinois
Juliana Stratton currently serves as a member of Illinois’ House of Representatives, representing its 5th district. Stratton is a DePaul University law school graduate and has her sights set on reform for the criminal justice system. She also supports raising the minimum wage and is an advocate for women’s rights.
Stephany Rose Spaulding
Office Running For: U.S. Representative for the 5th Congressional District, Colorado
Stephany Rose Spaulding is looking to become the first African-American woman to represent Colorado in Congress. She works as a community activist, educator and an ordained minister and is working to improve people’s access to a good education and is also fighting for environmental protections.
Jahana Hayes
Office Running For: U.S. Representative for the 5th Congressional District, Connecticut
Jahana Hayes will try to make history by becoming the first African-American woman to represent Connecticut in Congress. Hayes works as a history teacher and told The Hartford Courant that “living in the margins” makes her uniquely qualified to run for political office. “I know what it’s like to go to bed to gunshots outside, I know what it’s like to wake up in the morning to a dead body in the hallway,’’ she said at the Washington forum in July, according to the Courant. “No job gives you that kind of experience. Life gives you that kind of experience.” Hayes was the 2016 National Teacher of the Year and wants to prioritize providing a high-quality education for public school students, providing immigrants the help they need to get citizenship and to reduce gun violence.
Lauren Underwood
Office Running For: U.S. Representative for the 14th Congressional District, Illinois
Initially, Lauren Underwood didn’t have the intention of running for office, but when her congressman, Rep. Randy Hultgren, broke his promise and voted for a GOP health care bill that would exclude pre-existing conditions, She embarked on a journey to unseat him. Underwood is advocating for health care reform and decriminalizing marijuana.
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Former Ohio State Football Player Bri'onte Dunn Found Not Guilty of Rape Charges
Former Ohio State Buckeyes running back, Bri'onte Dunn, was found not guilty of rape charges due to a false accusation. This brings about an unsolved issue. Should women face charges for false rape accusations?
By: Omar Cook
Former Ohio State Buckeyes running back, Bri'onte Dunn, was found not guilty of rape charges dating back to August of 2017. Dunn only 25, was one of the best running backs in the country coming out of high school and played for the Buckeyes from 2012-2015 before being dismissed from the team for another altercation. The once promising prospect found himself in the wrong situation unfortunately.
Dunn met a woman on a dating website and testified that the two were having routine casual sex, but consensual. The pair actually dated for some time during the summer of 2017 but eventually broke up, where is when the problems began. The woman accused Dunn of assaulting her and forcing her to have sex which spun Dunn’s life out of control. Dunn faced up to 22 years in prison for the charges.
Fortunately, this young man was freed based on the voice of the woman herself. The jury listened to a tape recording of the woman telling Dunn that she would tell everyone she had lied about it. By God’s grace this man was allowed to walk away free because 22 years in prison for something you didn’t do is a reality no one should ever have to face, but it is reality for some nonetheless. “I’m happy that the whole world can see that I’m innocent,” he said. “I’m just trying to get back with my life, and hopefully renewing my career.”
Not everyone has the luxury of women saying they lied about false rape accusations on tape and unfortunately there have been plenty examples of men being found innocent years after they sat in prison for lies. There are two problems with these situations. One is the obvious issue that the women are coming up with lies for whatever reason to fit their agenda. Second, the women never face charges for lying.
This young man’s life was completely altered by a lie. Whenever you look up his name, this situation will be attached to it. And of course, as a black man, he was already seen as guilty before he stood trial. It’s 2018 and we’re still dealing with cases of false rape accusations and it’s an extremely sensitive subject because you never want to accuse the woman of lying at first, but the man’s reputation is immediately tarnished once the accusations start flying. I can only imagine how it was 50, 60, 70 years ago for a black man to stand trial in a case like this, and in his mind knowing he didn’t do it.
What is supposed to be an innocent until proven guilty system, is actually quite the opposite, especially for black men in these cases. As soon as a black athlete is accused of rape, it becomes a witch hunt to take him down, whether the accusations are true or not. Unfortunately, this will be a continuous issue because there are no repercussions for women being caught lying. This gives the women the power to freely accuse who they want without even taking a second thought.
So what happens when the facts are released? Everything goes back to normal? The woman gets to go back to her life as if nothing happened? This is something that seriously needs to be addressed because having a penalty in place for women that lie about rape will greatly reduce the risk of this happening because women will have to really choose if that’s the route they want to go. To lie or not to lie? Tough decision huh.
We’ve seen this situation play out many times for black athletes. One of the most significant cases was the wrongful conviction of former Long Beach Poly standout, Brian Banks who spent 5 years behind bars for a false accusation. Banks faced 41 years in prison but pleaded no contest in order to receive less years behind bars. It’s crazy to think your only option is to plead no contest and just accept your fate because there’s really not too many ways to prove your innocence unless the woman says otherwise. Your word against hers.
Brian Banks Has Rape Conviction Overturned
What kick do women get out of this? Seeing a man rot in prison for something he didn’t do because you’re mad he broke up with you is the revenge that makes you feel good? It’s evil and men really have to be careful about who they choose to have as partners. That’s why having one night stands, or picking up women off of dating apps can be extremely dangerous, for both men and women.
Bottom line is, women need to be aware of the lives they can potentially ruin by knowingly deciding to lie about rape and men need to be careful of who they choose to have relations with. This is a new day and age and having awareness of your surroundings, who you share your company with and the situations you are in are an absolute must. Stay safe family.
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Black People Are Tired Of Having The Cops Called On Them For Nothing
Why can’t black people just exist in peace without white people calling the police? Everyday we hear of a new incident, so when will the blatant racism end? It’s time for people to start minding their business.
By: Omar Cook
Is there a secret agenda that white people have going on that says anytime I see a black person doing ANYTHING, I should call the cops on them? I mean damn! Black people can’t do SHIT without having to deal with this issue, and it is an issue. Every other day, we see a new video pop up on the timeline showing a white person calling the cops on a black person for merely existing. It’s out of control and black people are tired of the blatant racism.
>> SEE ALSO: Black Lives Matter Is Raising Money But Where Is It Going?
We’ve seen videos of black people having the cops called on them for having a bbq in the park. Is eating and having fun a crime now? Why can’t yall just mind your business? It’s not that serious. We’ve seen videos of cops being called for a black person being suspected of kidnapping white kids, when they were actually the babysitter! Look, no reasonable black person has an agenda to kidnap some white kids. We really aren’t that concerned to be doing shit like that.
We’ve seen videos of a white lady trying to block off a black man from entering an apartment building, that he lived at! Like damn, we gotta report to yall before we enter our place of residence? Recently a video just surfaced of a black man visiting his mother at a housing complex and a white man called the cops on him. And another video surfaced of a white woman calling the cops on a black for talking to his son at a soccer game! Bruh. we can’t visit our parents? We can’t give our children constructive criticism at a sporting event without running the risk of being arrested? What can we do white people?? I’m asking.
>> SEE ALSO: Make Racists Afraid Again: Army Sergeant Jonathan Pentland Charged With Assault
We’ve seen the video of the white lady calling the cops on a 9 year old boy, because she suspected he grabbed her butt. A whole 9 year old. And even after the surveillance proved that he just brushed by her, the lady still stuck to her story. Incidents like this is what gets black people killed. We live in a digital age where these incidents can be caught on camera, but people like Emmitt Till were less fortunate by being a victim to such incidents. A whole 60 years later and black people are still being falsely accused of things.
I could give examples for days because there’s just that many incidents where this has happened. It’s a phenomenon. It’s tough out here being black. We run the risk of having to deal with the cops just for stepping foot outside the house. Why does the color of our skin scare you guys so much? It’s a skin color, it’s harmless. You can present all these types of incidents to certain white people and they still won’t acknowledge that this is a real issue. And they wonder why Kaepernick kneels, or at least they choose to be oblivious to it. “Disrespectful to the flag” they say. Well shit, we feel disrespected by white people not minding your business!
At the end of the day, we just want the racism to stop so we can coexist in peace. We want to be able to breathe, see our family members, attend sporting events, and just live out our days without the nonsense. It’s possible that we can all live amongst each other without the hatred and racism. Next time you see a black person existing in peace, just leave them alone. It’s not that difficult.
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Have We Become Complacent With Hip Hop Culture Objectifying Women?
Have we become so complacent with the music we listen to that we just ignore the blatant misogyny of hip hop culture? We discuss it here!
By: Omar Cook
There’s no doubt that hip hop has a major influence on American culture, and it brings people from all cultures and backgrounds together. There’s a major elephant in the room that we seem to ignore when listening to hip hop and it’s the lyrical content. At some point in hip hop history, it became acceptable to objectify women and degrade them in songs and videos and now it’s so regular in music that you almost ignore certain words when you hear it.
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I love hip hop but I can’t help but notice the lyrics to some of our favorite songs when I hear them and I think ok, does no one else hear this? Are we just ignoring this? The craziest thing to me is that women will be ready to pop off if a man calls them a b*tch or hoe but if their favorite rapper says it in a song, they’re bobbing their head, rapping the lyrics right along with him, and of course dancing to it at the party. This doesn’t apply to every person but i’ve seen it so many times I wonder do people just program themselves to be deaf to certain lyrics?
I get it, sex sales. But have we just accepted as a musical community that calling women out of their name or portraying them as sex symbols in music videos is just apart of hip hop culture? It also seems like the more vulgar and disrespectful a rapper is, the more publicity they get. I have to tune certain artists out because at some point, listening to these dudes talk about women in a degrading way becomes unrelatable. I can’t relate.
How many times have you watched a music video with multiple women twerking in the background, as if the message is that it’s just the thing to do to have multiple women? Try balancing multiple women in your life and see just how difficult that is. Try calling a woman out her name in real life and see the reaction you get. You’re asking for problems if you really try to act out some of these lyrics. Most of us can remember waking up early in the morning to watch BET Uncut to watch our favorite video vixens, but not even truly understanding the message being portrayed in the music and video itself. I don’t think that most people even realize the power of music sometimes and that people become subconsciously programmed to think that some of the behaviors that some rappers promote is okay behavior.
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There are only so many mainstream rappers that really get hyped for speaking something positive and motivating. J Cole talked about substance abuse in his latest album KOD and people still aren’t taking the lyrics literally because we’ve seen a couple rappers this year die from drug overdose. The message seems to be more easily consumed when it’s filled with negativity.
Hip hop culture has a problem that it needs to address, and also the people that listen to it because we support it. Maybe i’m tripping. Maybe i’m the crazy one, but I truly believe that it’s time for a new agenda and a new shift. One that promotes love, growth and success. People will talk about what relates to them, whether it’s a personal struggle, overcoming the environment they came from, or whatever, but it doesn’t mean you have to promote a certain lifestyle because you think that’s what’s going to get you sales.
There’s enough negativity surrounding black people in this world, and the last thing we need is our biggest influencers using their platforms to degrade women of color. If black artists truly understood the influence and impact they have, the way we speak about ourselves and to our own people would change.
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"But You're A Feminist." | Why Is This An Issue?
People tend to have a very warped view of what feminism is, and make the word more complicated than it actually is. A woman should never have to deny herself of anything she feels empowers her! We discuss it here!
“My feminism, specifically encourages black women to be themselves, for themselves.”
By: Deveney Marshall
For as far back as I can remember I was taught feminist ideals by both the women and men in my family. My parents made sure to instill in me that I had no limitations in this life, and neither my race nor my gender could stand in the way of me doing what my heart desired. In light of that, I grew up being the “different” girl. My peers and I would have conversations about gender roles, and it was very apparent I did not think like the average girl. After college, I became more comfortable with embracing the label feminist. One day it dawned on me that several of my ideas fell under the label, and I shouldn’t allow the negative connotations associated with the word shy me away from aligning myself with it.
>> SEE ALSO: Is TikTok A Safe Place For Black Content Creators?
Once I began to identify as a feminist, I learned just how ignorant people were when it came to that word. People would ask me a host of disrespectful questions about feminism, but most often they would question me being a feminist. As soon as I uttered the words “I’m a feminist,” people would place me in a box and gather a misconception about who I am, what I stand for, and what my story must be. How I look, speak, and act was immediately scrutinized, and if I didn’t fit what a feminist was in their in minds, then my entire stance as one was questioned. Quite frankly it all is very tiresome, and to think it only happens simply because people misunderstand the word.
People tend to have a very warped view of what feminism is, and make the word more complicated than it actually is. Half feel feminism is an excuse for women to be sexually liberated, and the other half believe feminism and misandry are one in the same. I define feminism as a movement that empowers women to be unapologetically who they want without the constant second thought of the patriarchal male gaze. My feminism, specifically encourages black women to be themselves, for themselves. However, people refuse to accept that definition, and would rather center the movement solely around hating men.
Unfortunately, because we live in a patriarchal society that believes women’s sole purpose is for the consumption of men, it is difficult to convince individuals that some women only exist for themselves. Society likes to believe that women make their choices always keeping men in mind. Now, where that still may be true for some women, a large number of us have left that conventional way of thinking behind. Nonetheless, as a result, they tend to conclude that feminism must be the complete opposite of that traditional concept, and those that identify as feminists must reject their femininity, and everything else they believe enhances women's prospects of getting men.
I am what you would call a girly girl through and through. I love to get dolled up, I love makeup, heels, and all things feminine — but because I am a feminist I am expected not to. People are often confused by my femme demeanor once I proclaim myself as a black feminist. They assume since my ideals dismiss traditionalism, then I must also detach from my femininity as well. I guess in their minds it baffles them that I don't look and speak like Angela Davis, or any other woman like her they picture when they hear the words black feminist. They fail to understand how a woman chooses to present herself and what her ideas are do not have to be monolithic. A woman can have a progressive mindset and still cater to her physicality. The two do not cancel one or the other out in the slightest bit. I know most have been taught women only care about their outer appearance to attract men but I'm here to inform you that is incorrect. Most women put emphasis on their appearance for themselves. It helps them to feel empowered, which is what feminism is all about.
Feminism is not this pungent thing people try to present it as. It is a movement that focuses on dismantling patriarchy, not men. Those of us women who identify as feminists do not hate our femininity or every man we cross paths with. Most of us identify as such because we believe we are empowered enough to lead an evolution that encourages women to be who they want in this world. We could care less about belittling men or emasculating them. Our focus is on ourselves, and what makes us feel good. And if that happens to be the most glamorous versions of ourselves than so be it. Our emphasis on appearance is about us feeling good, not for the likes of men. A woman should not ever have to deny herself of anything she feels empowers her. Your stereotypical idea of what a feminist is, is your problem, not hers, and she does have to fit the box you've created in your mind.
Fellow feminists, please know you are allowed to enjoy your feminine nature, whilst dismantling patriarchy. We do not have to confine ourselves as women to patriarchal limitations. We can embrace our outward beauty, be intellectual beings, and still be down for the cause. Do not allow society to place you in any box. Wear your makeup, rock your favorite pencil skirt, and strut in your sexiest heels — and show this world a feminist can be and look however she chooses to.
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White People, It's Time To Stop Saying The N Word
Whether you hear the word in a song, or you have a black friend, there is no reason to use the N word. White People, it's time to stop saying the N word!
By: Omar Cook
Alright. I’m about tired of logging into social media and seeing videos of white people using the N word just so carelessly as if that’s just the cool thing to do. It’s not cool, the word itself isn’t cool but it’s definitely not to be used by anyone that’s not black, and this is not up for debate. There is no argument that you can come up with to justify the use of it. The fact that this even has to be addressed in 2018 proves that we’re not as advanced as a society as we think we are.
One of the main excuses I hear for people using the word is "my friend is black!” SO WHAT! If your friend is black and they’re allowing you to use the word without checking you, they’re not only ignorant but goofy. Black people, understand that this is not a term of endearment between white and black people so stop letting your white friends go unchecked for using it. You might just need to get you some new friends who respect you enough not to call you that.
The most irritating excuse I hear is “_____ said it in his song so I can too.” Just because your favorite artist said it in the song does not make it right for you to say it too! I don’t care how many times YG says it in My N***a, when that part come up you need to bleep it out your vocabulary or replace it with another word. It’s really not that difficult. Too many times I get on twitter and it’s a video of a white girl rapping her heart out throwing around the N word to a song. That word is not for you and I think the majority of black people can agree that we’re tired of seeing it.
White people aren’t the only ones who abuse this word. At some point in time, Mexicans figured they could get a free pass too. Mexican people, we rock with you but ain’t no freebies. Mexican people using the N word is literally like if black people just started calling each other wetbacks. It makes absolutely zero sense.
White people used the N word to degrade black people for hundreds of years and black people have simply reclaimed it to turn a negative into a positive. Just because we turned the word around, don’t hop on the train now trying to use it like it’s just the cool to say, white people. Ask your grandpa how he used that word when he was your age.
It doesn’t matter if you try to justify using “nigga” as opposed to “nigger” because you think that’s less racist. Neither of these are acceptable, however you put it. Understand that we’re not tolerating the disrespect anymore and moving forward from this point in history, you need to choose your words wisely. Stop jocking what black people do and say and create your own words and lingo. Thank you for your time.
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The Nod: The Common Courtesy Every Black Man Needs To Know
Don’t ask how it came about, just know it exists! The nod is the common courtesy that every black man needs to know!
By: Omar Cook
In a matter of seconds, a simple gesture will tell you everything you need to know about the next black man. We're not even talking about going out of your way to say wassup or shake a person's hand. No, this is just a simple head nod. But in this head nod, there is so much respect that comes with it.
The nod is the common courtesy that every black man needs to know! I don't know how it came about but the simple fact is that if you're a black man in America, you need to have this as a tool. The act of nodding your heading up or down is a sure sign of acknowledgement, as if you're saying to that person, "I see you, we're in this together." The nod is the next best thing to dapping a person up and it literally takes one second and you go about your business.
There is a difference between the downward nod and the upward nod though. Usually, when you give the upward nod, it's to someone you know, someone of the same age, or you might just be at a considerable distance that nodding your head up is the best way that person might see the gesture. You usually nod your head down as a sign of respect to someone that is older than you or complete strangers. Either you can't go wrong, but you should never let a passing moment between two black men go by without acknowledging him.
Black men share the same struggles together in America and this simple sign of respect is just a small gesture of unity. IF a black ever walks by you, and doesn't look at you to acknowledge you with the nod, thats a red flag and there's a problem. Honestly, I almost feel disrespected if a black man doesn't look to make eye contact and give this universal sign of respect. That brother wasn't raised right! I'm writing this post not only to spread cultural awareness about this common courtesy, but to gather the attention of the black men out there who don't do this! It's 2018, and with racial tensions getting hotter, it's a MUST that black men respect each other, stick together, and at the very least acknowledge each other's presence.
The nod can happen anywhere. It can happen in public places where you and another black person are virtually the only people of color around and you gotta give the nod to let that person know, "if something pops off we in this together." It can happen at a street light and a black man pulls up next to you; don't just turn your head without giving the nod! Disrespectful. It can happen from across the street when you see one of the homies going the other direction. The most important occurrence of them all, is walking directly by a person. It is at this moment, you have to show respect. It's a must, your call of duty. If a black man walks by you without acknowledging YOU, another black man, of the same struggle, you might as well just call his hands to get his mind right.
The nod is something that you're almost born with. It's like a cultural instinct of respect that you just keep in your repertoire, and it is your duty to pass this down to your sons and keep the respect flowing to the next generations. Black men, we're leaving confrontation in the past and we're showing respect for each other, period.
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Can We Cancel "Canceled" Culture?
Black twitter is notorious for canceling any and everyone for different opinions, lifestyle choices, and anything else under the sun. Is it time to do away with canceled culture?
By: Deveney Marshall
Everyone Is Canceled!
In the age of Twitter where everything happens in real time and people don't take a moment to think before they tweet, a thing called being canceled was born. The act of being canceled is not one you want to ever face the burden of. It basically means you've said something incredibly distasteful and people would rather ignore your existence, than even care to hear the excuse of why you said what you said. When people first began using the slang I found it to be witty, hilarious, and straight to the point. However, as time goes by and the term has become more mainstream, I’m ready to cancel ”canceled culture” altogether.
The term canceled became popular a few years ago on Twitter by black gays, who would jokingly use the word to dismiss celebrities when they turned out to be not so great people. For instance, if a celebrity would say something harmful to the LGBTQ community (or any other marginalized group) they would refer to that person as canceled. The word acted as a signal to halt any support that person was receiving. At first, the concept was great. You wouldn't support a normal person if they made a comment that negatively impacted your livelihood, so why should a celebrity be given a pass for the same behavior? However, as time went by and more celebrities would give less than clever remarks pertaining to certain issues, the number of people that were being canceled became overwhelming and harder to keep up with — and before I knew it we were canceling celebs for not only unjust comments, but different opinions, lifestyle choices, and anything else under the sun.
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In today’s society, we have convinced ourselves that we are more progressive and accepting than we have ever been before. Us millennials specifically, take pride in being the generation that's all about individualism, and disrupting generational ideals and beliefs systems — but I would argue that sometimes we all participate in groupthink more worse than the generations before us. The only difference now is our groupthink is not as closed-minded as past
generations, but it is just as limiting. We tend to write others off rather quickly once we find out their ideas don't fall on the liberal spectrum, which I believe is done with the best intentions. Still, it doesn’t make it right.
Unfortunately, canceling doesn’t allow us to fully interpret and process actions or words we deem problematic like we should. Abruptly dismissing someone for their ignorance teaches us to be less empathetic and tolerant, which is the opposite of what we should be doing in a progressive society. We need to shift more focus on the issue and not the person. No matter how much you cancel a person and pretend they’re not a factor, those ideologies they tweeted or said still are, and will continue to create toxicity until a real dialogue happens surrounding them.
The reality is we are all ignorant about something, whether we choose to admit that or not. Instead of dismissing one another, let’s try expanding each other’s horizons and calling each other out on our problematic behavior. Will it always be perceived well? No, but at least you tried to rationalize with the person before completely casting them out.
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In the future, if a person makes an obtuse comment or a hateful tweet from their past happens to resurface, give them the chance to explain themselves. That individual may be in a
completely different headspace than they were then, and they may actually regret their words. And if they don’t? Still give that person time to process and re-evaluate. Emotional intelligence isn’t a natural thing for everyone. We've all had unique experiences and journeys that impact how we digest this world, and sadly for some, it doesn't manifest in the most positive ways.
Remember, we can't continue to cancel everyone that has said something offensive, because then the whole world would be canceled, but we can cancel the harmful ideas perpetuated and their effects. So, what do you all think, can we finally cancel canceled culture?
*Deveney Marshall is a New Orleans-based filmmaker, actress, and freelance writer. She runs the lifestyle & beauty website thedevandthecity.com. Follow her thoughts & life on twitter and
IG: @devandthecity
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Why Do Black Men Belittle Black Women To Justify Dating White Women?
Interracial relationships are commonplace in America now, but why do some black men feel the need to belittle black women to justify dating white women? We discuss it here!
By: Omar Cook
There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating outside your race, lets get that out the way before y'all twist my words. This is modern day America, where a melting pot of cultures from around the world mesh together. Sure there are still issues between races, but this is 2018, interracial dating has truly become commonplace. Dating outside of your race which was frowned upon once upon a time in America, is now something that you see everyday. Interracial dating is not the problem.
The issue at hand is that there are certain black men that will belittle black women to justify dating outside of their race. Why do you even have to say anything negative about black women? First of all, no one cares that you date who you date, just go about your business. Black women will find someone that loves them regardless of who your preference is. If dating a white woman or whoever, makes you happy, by all means go for it. Black women are already under appreciated as it is, so for black men to be the ones putting them down, it's extremely ignorant.
>> SEE ALSO: Abolishing the N-word: A Personal Experience
I have heard a variety of reasons from my counterparts about why they won't date black women and here are a few of them:
Black women are loud and angry
Black women can be controlling
Black women have bad attitudes
Black women don't put out like other women of other races
How ridiculous does this stuff sound. To me, it sounds like certain black men want someone they can easily control and fetishize over them, and they know black women aren't going for that. You come from a black mother, a black family and still find a way to devalue your own people. It's okay to love who you love, but it's possible to appreciate black women while dating outside your race.
This definitely goes deeper than just dating white women though. Certain black men have an obsession for dating "foreign" women, a preference that keeps them close minded to dating black women in general. We've all heard the phrase "if it ain't foreign, it's boring." Why do we have this type of preference? Having certain preferences in women you date is cool, but choosing women just because they're foreign or white is high-key weird. Just because they're "foreign" does not mean they aren't coming with the same baggage and issues that you believe black women bring.
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Black men have to do better with valuing our own women instead of putting them down. Like what gratification does it give you to talk down on black women just to say you only date a certain race of women or you have a preference? What good comes from that? We really aren't too far removed from a period in time where black men were getting lynched and castrated for even talking to white women, now that's your only preference? Ignorance is an abundance right now and black men need to wake up and realize how stupid you look putting down your own women.
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Does Black Wealth Create Division Amongst Our Own?
An abundance of black wealth could provide resources that cater to the empowerment of black people, but there are people who view wealth as a bad thing that only creates division. Does wealth disparity in the black community create division amongst our own? We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com - Does Black Wealth Create Division Amongst Our Own?
“I notice a lot of black people view wealth as a bad thing that only creates division.”
By: Deveney Marshall
A few days ago I stumbled upon a twitter rant with a guy speaking about how black wealth can never be a real thing, I decided to read the entire thread before I jumped to any conclusions on what he was trying to say, but the more I read the more infuriated I became. His whole take was that most black people in this country financially struggle and that we have to “first stay afloat before we even think about wealth.” He even went on to discourage black people from even trying to obtain wealth and “to just worry about themselves and not the next generation.”
The thread left me very perplexed. It was clear this person had never looked at the world on a broader spectrum and only could see blackness and our finances from his viewpoint. I was even more confused by the amount of other black people that had replied agreeing with him, and the overwhelming amount of retweets and likes the thread had. Had it never occurred to him or these other black people that black wealth was attainable? And furthermore, that some black people had already attained it?
>> SEE ALSO: Can We Cancel "Canceled" Culture?
Like with everything else in this life, wealth, is a subject matter that is incredibly nuanced. Everyone defines the word differently, and most often people believe it is only associated with specific ethnic backgrounds. Now I’m not naive, I will acknowledge that non-black people, specifically white people have the upper hand in attaining wealth due to white privilege and systematic oppression against minorities, however, I still believe it is very possible for us as well. Yes the odds are stacked against us more, and we will have more of a difficulty achieving affluence than our racial counterparts, it still can be attainable for us.
Something I’ve noticed is that a lot of black people view wealth as a bad thing that only creates division. While I will agree this is partially true based off of how this country handles financial power, I don't believe black wealth would have the same negative effects. Instead of using wealth to enslave others, we would use that financial power to liberate a large portion of our people. An abundance of black wealth would provide resources that cater to the empowerment of black people, and help improve our livelihoods, mental health, and institutions.
For instance, take Lebron James starting his public school, he is going to change the course of so many black kids lives by giving them the resources they need to succeed. This will go on to have a domino effect on other black youth, since most likely the students will become inspired to help others. If Lebron would have listened to the advice of that pessimistic tweeter and shied away from being a pro athlete, he would have never cared to invest his riches and create wealth. Furthermore, stopping the progression of so many black lives. Don’t be fooled by the media, angry tweeters, and statics that favor systematic oppression. There are so many black and wealthy individuals who are investing in our people and our advancement. We do not have to be like our racial counterparts, and use wealth to control.
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As black people, we have to stop placing limitations on ourselves. Financial freedom will never be easy for us, but that doesn't mean we should give into systematic inequality, and not even try. Black wealth would make a significant difference, and the people in power know this, which is why they attempt to keep it out of our reach.
We owe it to our ancestors to build impactful black communities. They did not fight, die, and lose their freedom for us to sit back and not take hold of our own narratives. We also owe it to the many generations that will come, to leave legacies that will give them a leg up in life. Having financial freedom does not mean they will become lazy or entitled, it will give them the opportunities to create the fruitful villages our ancestors dreamt about.
Black people please know you can obtain generational affluence and financial freedom. It is not out of your reach like they want you to believe. From this day forward, I want all of the black people reading this to make a vow to themselves that they will leave a financial legacy behind. I’m a firm believer that whatever you speak will come to pass. Understand that you do not work as hard as you do to just pay bills or “stay afloat.” Black people deserve to live a life filled with financial prosperity as well. So go out into the world and create the financially abundant life I know you can have. And if you find yourself questioning do you deserve this? Then obtain it for your people, your lineage, and most importantly your ancestors.
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Can You Truly Give Sexual Consent To Have Drunk Sex?
Can you truly give sexual consent to have drunk sex? We discuss the fine line between consensual sex and sexual assault!
By: Alyssa Cole
With the topic of rape being at an all-time high in our society today, we now question doing certain acts that can lead to things we cannot foresee as going wrong or diminishing our reputation. Charlamagne Tha God of the Breakfast Club talked recently about an experience where him and his now wife had drunk sex for their first time and the media ran with it stating that he had raped his wife because there was no sexual consent. Raped?! No Consent?! This in fact was not true!
Although the rumor was quickly cleared up, it makes you wonder how society views drinking or being under the influence when the end result leads to sex with someone. How can you really tell if it’s consensual if it’s not verbal? The definition for consensual sex is when both parties agree to have sex each time. You can’t assume that because you both potentially are drunk that it was consented nor can you assume someone wanted to have sex based off their body language or expressions. Some may say it depends on the situation, that since they are dating the person so a verbal consent isn’t needed, or even that things just happened in the moment! But when we look back at the track record of celebrities within the last year that thought they would be ok with their decisions made over 10 years ago in regards to drunk sex or high sex, it makes us ask ourselves, are we being smart and is the drinking and smoking that may lead to sex really worth potential future consequences.
>> SEE MORE: Dating Advice: 4 Signs You're Dating Someone Emotionally Unavailable
According to rainn.org, 1 out of every 6 American Women and 1 out of every 33 American Men have been a victim of an attempted or completed rape. More often the abuser is someone who also is familiar with the person which is disheartening. Did you know there is a form of sexual assault specifically focused on drugs and alcohol use as well? There is levels to it yes! The person who just left the party and can barely walk in a straight line would not exactly be the ideal person to strike up a conversation with. Even when you may be helping someone who is under the influence get back to safety, it’s important if possible to have a witness with you to prevent any accusations from being created. You may be saying to yourself, “Well the person didn’t have a lot to drink so do I still need to ask?” How can you tell when someone has reached their limit? How many people do you know that can predict when they are about to black out? Not many right?
The worst thing is having sex with someone and the person has no memory the following day due to the level of inebriation they experienced. Just imagine if that happened to you where you were out having a good time and BOOM! You wake up next to someone you may or may not know and don’t know how you got there! Disturbing and scary right? One of the common things that you may hear someone ask the person who was under the influence is “Would you really have had sex with that person if you were sober?” Again, this depends on the person. If the actions were not displayed before the person was under the influence, it’s typically easy to figure out the answer.
>> SEE MORE: The Social Pressure To Lose Your Virginity
Let’s face it, for years people (typically men) have decided to make the first move to initiate sexual activity, but a serious question to ask yourself is “Was it to satisfy us or just me?” Did they tell you they wanted it just as much as you did? Maybe they did or didn’t. Overall, a few things to take away from the constant discussion of rape and sexual assault, especially when drugs and alcohol are involved, are two things. One, try to have self control and not have sex especially with someone new while under the influence to prevent any potential problems and two, take a moment out to ask the other person if they would like to do it first! One simple question can be life changing without you even knowing it right away. Choose Wisely.
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HBCU Lifestyle: 9 Tips To Surviving And Conquering HBCU Life
HBCU life is an experience you will never forget! Here are 9 tips to surviving and conquering at your HBCU!
Photo by Brianna Paciorka - HBCU Lifestyle: 9 Tips To Surviving And Conquering HBCU Life
HBCU life is an experience you will never forget! Here are 9 tips to surviving and conquering at your HBCU!
1. Get In Good With The Cafe Workers
The cafe is a major staple at all HBCU colleges! Cafe swipes are some of the most precious commodities you can while in school, but young people like to eat and occasionally…those swipes run out before the end of the week. So what do you do? This is where getting in good with the cafe workers comes in handy. That sweet old lady that works the door might just let you in without any swipes left because you’ve built a relationship and have been respectful all semester long. You might see yourself getting some extra servings on fried chicken Monday because you got cool with the worker who scoops the red rice and beans. Building relationships early on in college is crucial, and there’s no better place to start then with the people who serve you your food.
2. Go To Class!
So you're not in high school anymore and your mom and dad aren’t there yelling at you to wake up and get ready for school. Your schedule is spread out and some days you may only have 1 or 2 classes with the rest of the day to yourself. That leaves a lot of room to get lazy and the mindset of “i’ll just skip class today and go next time” or getting someone to sign your name on the roll can easily start to sink in. College is certainly not as hard as it’s made out to be but it’s definitely not easy either and it takes a little finessing of the system to get through. A lot of times, just showing up to class consistently, participating, and showing the professor you care will get you the grade you desire, and at the very least you will pass. If you are on the border of a pass fail grade, most professors will not pass you if they have no idea who you are and you waited until the last couple weeks of school to start showing some effort. Stay in your professor’s face and get those grades!
3. Have School Pride- Put Some Respeck On Your School Name
Having pride for your HBCU is a must! No one is going to respect your school except the people you go to school with. You have to not only defend your school’s name from your biggest rivals, you have to defend it from the PWI students who will decide to throw shade on your school’s name around every once in a while.
HBCU pride is a full time job and you signed up for it by agreeing to go to your school. Get you some HBCU apparel and show people why your school is the top HBCU! All black colleges are ultimately in competition with one another to prove who is the best HBCU. When it’s rivalry time, you have to fulfill your duties and get on twitter and instagram and talk the most sh*t you can and pull out your best memes. Never let muscle milk University (Grambling) speak on your timeline without getting checked. Period.
4. Go To Events - Turn Up!
There’s a time and a place for everything; a time to study, a time to relax, and time to turn up. Going to an HBCU, there will be tons of exciting events; pageants, sporting events, mixers, on campus activities, HOMECOMING, and parties! Make some room for the all of this; the last thing you want is to leave college and say “I wish I wold have went to..” or “I wish I would have did..” Have as much fun as possible, this is the time of your life and most likely you will never be in this kind of environment full time again once you graduate.
Photo by Kevin Coles - Howard Bison Cheerleaders
5. Discretion
The last thing you want is to be on campus and everybody knows your business. Outside of the obvious of practicing good morals, your reputation is everything! People will remember you down the line for things that you did in college whether good or bad. Don’t get caught up in the wrong things and wrong people. Do not build a reputation for sleeping with 20 different people your freshman year or getting caught doing something on camera. People will talk, and in a social media age, barely anything worthy of gossip slips by. Have fun, but practice safe sex and be very cautious about who you do things with because not everyone has your best intentions in mind. If ever you need a reminder of discretion, just read some of the posts on HBCU Confessions.
6. Don’t Do 8ams Unless You Absolutely Have To
8ams are the devil. It’s crazy because in high school, you probably started school somewhere around 7am everyday, for 4 years. 8am should be a breeze right? NEGATIVE. Unless you're a certified morning person, or a student athlete that has to have classes done by a certain time, do not load your week up with 8am classes. It’s an almost guarantee that you will be late or miss a few classes because you were up late the night before. Put yourself in the best position to succeed.
7. Cheat Or Repeat - The Art Of Finesse
Now we’re not telling you to cheat, but you gotta do what you have to do! Eventually you're going to meet your match as far as classes go (biology, law class, economics,etc) and cheat or repeat is the only option! Write some notes on some note cards, take pics on your phone, get with a group of people that are down for the cause and finesse together! Team work makes the dream work. BUT, if you just know you're not a good finesse, DO NOT make an attempt at cheating. Don’t put yourself at jeopardy if you know can’t handle the repercussions. But so we're clear we did not just teach you how to cheat and you didn’t hear this from us!
Photo Credit: @mosope_ - HBCU Deltas
8. Join An Organization - Get Active On Campus
There are tons of organizations to get involved in. You can join a community service group, a fraternity, a sorority, SGA, clubs; a social club can help you get out of your shell and comfort zone and develop social skills necessary for the future! Black greeks are prevalent at universities. Do not go 4 years of college without joining some type of organization on campus. Get involved and help your school become better than it was. This will also provide you with networking opportunities and you will build relationships with people you probably never would have talked to on campus. Be open minded to trying new things.
Photo by Brianna Paciorka - Human Jukebox of Southern University
9. Be Social And Network
HBCU life is crazy. There’s people from all over the country, parties, events, and the atmosphere is exactly what you want as a black student. Make as many friends as possible and meet and connect with people you normally wouldn’t talk with on a daily basis. You are all there for the same reason, to get your education and be successful. You never know who’s going to be who 4 to 5 years after graduation and that connection you made in college might just be the connection that leads you to you dream job. Your college friends are extremely valuable and some of these relationships you will carry with you for a long time. Make a serious attempt to make friends and build a positive relationship with them and at the same time, understand that people come around you in seasons. Someone who may be your best of friends your 1st semester, you might not even be talking with them by time junior year rolls around. Shake off the stragglers, see it pushing and stay open to meeting new people.
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