5 Signs That You May Be In A Long Term Fling And Not A Long Term Relationship
By: Omar Cook
This is gender neutral as both men and women can be a victim of this. There are times that we can be so excited to date a specific person and that person makes you extremely happy, and in this cloud of lust, you lose your common sense. So much so, that you allow yourself to maintain a relationship without a title but have set expectations for you and that person as if your relationship is going somewhere.
I’m sorry to say, but your relationship is going nowhere if you and your partner aren’t on the same page and you have no specific destination for where you’re going. Just going with the flow is cool if you really aren’t looking for anything serious, but at what point in the relationship does just going with the flow become a problem? Where are we going and what are we doing are questions that need to be answered at some point from the person you’re dating.
Falling in love and having a long term relationship is the eventual end goal for most people, but how can you be so sure that the person you’re with has those same intentions? People can be master deceivers and string people along in relationships while “having their cake and eating it too.” Unfortunately, I’ve been accused of this and have strung people along in my past so this is a real thing and you’ll want to know if you’re just being taken along for the ride. Are you really building for the future or are you just messing around? Here are 5 signs that you may be in a long term fling and not a long term relationship!
5 Signs That You May Be In A Long Term Fling And Not A Long Term Relationship
1. You Have Never Met Their Friends Or Family
Anyone that’s serious about you will willingly invite you to meet their family. And a person that’s really serious about you will want to show you off to their friends and at the very least get their approval. I think of it like this, if I don’t take you to meet my mom, it’s not that serious.
2. You Have No Title
While some people don’t like to be defined by titles, a title will tell you everything you need to know about how that person views you. You may not have spent enough time together dating to have a specific title, but if you’re a whole 10 months into dating someone and you’re still fishing for a title, that’s a red flag. What are we doing? How does the person you’re dating introduce you to people? Do they say this is my girlfriend/boyfriend, or are you still just the friend? If you’re still without a title after a long period of time, reality says you’re just the friend with benefits. A fling.
3. You Don’t Know Any “Real” Facts About Them
Let’s get past the high school questions (what’s your favorite color, what’s your favorite movie, etc). Who is this person really, do you know? Do they know who you are? Ask your partner what your goals and dreams are, or what your biggest fear is, or your biggest accomplishment and see what they say. A person that you’re in a long term relationship with should be like your best friend and you should be past the basic questions stage.
4. Do You Actually Do Things As A Couple?
Do you actually go out on dates together, or is netflix and chill an everyday event? Do they send you flowers or buy you gifts? If there’s a party or an event, do you guys show up together? Don’t be fooled, it takes minimal effort to be a fling, but a long term relationship requires effort. A lack of effort will give you insight on where you stand mentally with a person.
5. Do You Talk About The Future?
Are you guys still going with the flow and believing that whatever happens happens, or are you guys actively planning your future? Do you talk about where you want to settle down at, what age you want to have kids, what age do you want to get married? If you aren’t having conversations about your future, than how can someone envision you in their future with no plans? Stop letting people string you along and put yourself in a better position for the relationship that you desire.
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