6 Reasons Why A Serious Relationship In Your 20s Should Not Be Priority
By: Omar Cook
We all have this desire to be wanted, and to have this fairy romantic relationship that you see in movies. Yes, you can have that, and you deserve that. But when is the right time?
Our 20s is a pivotal time for all of us in determining the course of our lives. Relationships can be mentally and emotionally exhausting if you are not right with yourself first, and the wrong one can even deter you from accomplishing certain goals. The days are gone when people are looking for marriage at 18, 19, 20 and millennials are holding off on having kids until older ages.
At 27, I have learned a valuable lesson, through trial and error; our 20s should not be a time to prioritize a romantic relationship...at least until you’re stable in a number of areas. Here are 6 reasons why a serious relationship should not be your priority in your 20s!
1. Get Your Money Up
If you don’t read any of the other reasons, don’t skip this one. Money makes life a whole lot easier, and unfortunately due to the world we live in, you NEED money to live. Yes we want love, but honestly, getting to the money should come first.
It’s hard to truly focus on a relationship and give the right energy and focus to your partner when your money isn’t right. You want to be able to take your partner on dates consistently, buy gifts, travel, you know, all the romantic stuff. How can you really do that when your money isn’t right?
Your 20s is your time to make mistakes financially, invest in your business, and spend time saving up for your future. Don’t waste this valuable time focusing on a person that may not even be helping you elevate to that next level! Get your money up kings and queens!
2. Learn To Love Yourself
The term self-love has become more of a trending discussion than ever. But do we truly understand the value of it? In your 20s you will go through so many ups and downs and challenges that will force you to love yourself the right way!
It’s imperative that you take the time to date yourself, and learn to love yourself more than anyone else ever can. Why? Because if a relationship fails, you still have to live with yourself at the end of the day. You do not want to feel depleted emotionally if it doesn’t work out and you’ve been emotionally invested into a person looking for them to be your source of love. Real love comes from within.
When you learn to love yourself correctly, you will see things from different perspectives. You won’t accept anything less than what you feel you deserve and you will hold others to a high standard because that’s what you require for your own self. Taking this time to love yourself properly is crucial, and if you don’t, you may find yourself in relationships that under appreciate your value! Toxic!
3. Date To See What Suits You
I’m not saying you should be a player, and definitely don’t play with people’s emotions, but dating multiple people in your 20s is exactly what you should do. For starters you should always be honest with the people that you date in telling them that you may be seeing other people. Don’t get yourself caught up, and karma is very real.
Why should you date multiple people? It’s easy to have chemistry with just about anyone and it’s possible to even catch feelings for more than one person at a time. BUT, you need to learn how to discern those feelings and see what you like and don’t like about people. What are you willing to put up with and what drives you crazy?
What exactly are you looking for in a partner? Does this person meet my standards and are we truly compatible? Questions that can only truly be answered after you have gained some experience dating. Don’t just fall for the person that tells you you’re beautiful or handsome. Take your time, date, and the right person will prevail through it all.
4. Get Stable In Your Career/ Education
Your 20s is a time for you to figure out exactly what you want to do with your life. Sometimes what you go to school for may not even be what you end up doing. This is your time to explore career options, take jobs in odd places, make leaps of faith, and build start up businesses.
This is also the time for you to pursue all of your secondary degrees. Sure you can wait until whatever age to get a certain degree, but why not focus on knocking it out as early as you can? Get school out the way so you can focus on building a stable career.
Don’t let a serious relationship derail you from pursuing your dream job early or finishing up school. You need to make sure that you are stable, and ready to provide for you and your potential partner.
5. Live Your Life
We only get to experience our 20s one time, live it up! Take trips, hang out with your friends, party, go out, do it all. Get whatever you need to release, out your system. Not saying that you can’t do all of this in a relationship, but the freedom of being single is unmatched.
Enjoy your single time, because once you’re committed you’re committed. That’s a whole other person you will have to account for. Live your best single life for the moment, mature, fail a few times, and learn from every experience. Your 20s is the perfect time for trial and error!
6. There Is No Rush
Regardless of what you may hear, waiting until after your 20s to entertain serious relationships is not too long. Marriage at 30 is not too old. Kids at 30 is not too old. With divorce rates already being so high, you can eliminate potential problems by gaining your stability first and getting yourself together so that is one less thing to worry about in your relationship.
I for sure thought I would be married or have kids by 27, but I’ve learned that there is no rush. Personal growth and self awareness is way more important than chasing love. Chase yourself. When you do that, someone who is also great within themselves will find their way to you.
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