Toxic Relationships: 10 Signs You Are Becoming the Toxic One
By: Jamila Gomez
No relationship is perfect. Perfection in any aspect is not a real thing anyway. But I can guarantee that every relationship you’ve ever been in – whether it’s romantic family, platonic, or working – has endured some sort of strain at some point. Although we don't always want to admit it, much less are able to recognize it, sometimes when relationship is sour, it's because we're the problem. Or at least half of the problem. Don’t believe me? Here are 10 signs that you are becoming the toxic one in your relationships. See if you recognize yourself in any of it.
1) Lack of Responsibility
You don't take responsibility for your part in things falling apart or going wrong. You always blame others or you always choose to remain in situations that allow you to avoid accountability.
2) You Always Have to be Right
You only choose to talk to people who agree with you. You never admit your mistakes or when you are wrong about something. Remember, it’s alright to adjust your thoughts and opinions when presented with no (to you) information. But you need to be open to understanding that you ain’t always got the answers. Nobody likes a know-it-all.
3) You Harbor Resentment
You can't/won't let things go. Either resolve the issues or learn to let it go.
4) You're a Control Freak
It has to be your way or no way. You always have to be at the center of everything. Or you always have to take the reins in any given situation so that it will go your way.
5) You Lack Communication Skills
No one is a mind-reader and you can't expect people to know how you feel if you purposely say nothing. And when you choose to stay silent and not having your needs met, you don’t have the right to be upset with the other person. Closed mouths don’t get fed.
6) You Can't Be Trusted
You are sneaky and dishonest. Going behind someone’s back and doing things you know would hurt them is very toxic. And you can’t use the excuse of “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you” when you get caught in the act. If you don’t want to hurt someone, don’t do the thing that you’d feel the need to be dishonest about later on in the first place.
7) You're Always in Competition With Others
You're obsessed with one-upping or being better than others rather than just being the best version of you that you can be. Or you constantly compare yourself to others you think are doing better than you. The grass is always greener on the other side – until you see the other side. Then you realize your lawn was fine.
8) You Become Unwell
You neglect your mental and physical health. When you don’t take care of yourself, you become no good for other people. Sometimes this is unintentional, and an underlying issue may be at the helm. But if you’re purposely letting yourself go, it can hurt the relationships you’ve built.
9) Your Relationships Are One-Sided
You're always taking/receiving but never at least offering to give/do (when you know you're able). It’s one thing to genuinely need help, but if you’re constantly taking just to take, you’re toxic.
10) You're Emotionally Manipulative
You make people feel guilty for not being your perception of perfection. No one is obligated to live up to your expectation, especially when you don’t even do it.
I hope that helps.
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