Self-Sabotage: Getting in Our Own Way in Love
Self-sabotage in relationships can take various forms, such as pushing away a partner, avoiding commitment, or engaging in destructive behaviors. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Pheelings Media via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Relationships are complex and often demand effort, compromise, and vulnerability from both individuals involved. However, some individuals may repeatedly engage in self-sabotaging behaviors. Self-sabotage in relationships can take various forms, such as pushing away a partner, avoiding commitment, or engaging in destructive behaviors. To understand why people self-sabotage in relationships, it's essential to explore several underlying factors and patterns.
Fear of Intimacy:
For some, past negative experiences, trauma, or a fear of vulnerability can trigger self-sabotaging behaviors. Consequently, individuals may emotionally withdraw, be overly critical, or create conflicts to protect themselves from potential emotional pain.
Low Self-Worth:
A lack of self-worth can lead to self-sabotage in relationships. Those with low self-esteem may engage in behaviors undermining their relationships, such as seeking validation outside the relationship or questioning their partner's intentions.
Fear of Rejection:
The fear of rejection can be a powerful force. Individuals who've experienced past rejections may engage in behaviors pushing their partner away before facing potential rejection.
Commitment Issues:
Some struggle with commitment due to deep-seated fears and insecurities. Commitment phobia may manifest as self-sabotage when facing the possibility of a long-term relationship.
Unrealistic Expectations:
Unrealistic expectations can strain relationships. Holding high standards for oneself or their partner can lead to self-sabotage, resulting in constant disappointment.
To overcome self-sabotage, individuals should seek self-awareness and understand the root causes triggering their disruptive behaviors. Consider therapy or counseling to address emotional wounds, insecurities, or fears. Building healthy self-esteem is crucial, enabling individuals to participate in loving relationships without self-sabotage.
Communication is key. Open and honest conversations with a partner can help express fears and concerns, fostering a supportive environment. Embracing vulnerability and learning to trust oneself and the partner can help overcome self-sabotaging patterns, cultivating healthier connections
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
The Evolution of Dating and Relationships in the Social Media Era
While there are undeniable advantages to the rise of social media in the dating world, there are also significant downsides, creating a complex and multifaceted impact. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Vladimir Vladimirov via iStockphoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
In just a few short years, social media has drastically changed the landscape of dating and relationships. It has not only revolutionized how people meet, connect, and communicate but has also influenced the way individuals perceive themselves and others. While there are undeniable advantages to the rise of social media in the dating world, there are also significant downsides, creating a complex and multifaceted impact.
One of the most apparent changes brought about by social media is the way people meet and form relationships. Online dating platforms, such as Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid, have become increasingly popular, with millions of users worldwide. They offer a convenient and efficient way for individuals to search for potential partners based on shared interests, compatibility, and location.
Moreover, social media has opened up new avenues for communication and connection. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter provide endless opportunities to interact with others, breaking traditional barriers of time and space. Messages can be sent in an instant, photos can be shared with a click, and status updates allow individuals to keep up with each other's lives, even when physically distant.
However, this constant connectivity has also had negative ramifications in the dating world. One of the notable downsides of social media is the pressure it places on individuals to curate and present an idealized version of themselves. People carefully select which photos to upload, meticulously edit their posts, and often strive to portray an image of a perfect life. This phenomenon, commonly referred to as "highlight reel syndrome," can lead to feelings of inadequacy, as individuals compare their own lives to the seemingly perfect lives of others.
Furthermore, social media can breed feelings of jealousy and insecurity within relationships. With constant access to each other's online profiles, it becomes easy to monitor and scrutinize every interaction, like, or comment, leading to trust issues and increased suspicion. The presence of ex-partners or potential love interests on social media can also be a source of conflict, as individuals may feel threatened or uneasy about their partner's online behavior.
Another significant concern is the potential for cyberbullying and online harassment affecting relationships. Hurtful comments, rumors, or private information can easily go viral, leading to emotional distress, embarrassment, or even the breakdown of a relationship. Additionally, the constant presence of social media can lead to obsessive behavior, with individuals constantly checking their partner's online activity, making it difficult to maintain healthy boundaries and privacy.
Despite these challenges, social media has also facilitated positive changes in relationships. It provides a means for couples to stay connected even when physically apart, sharing experiences and fostering intimacy. It also allows individuals to express love and affection publicly, celebrating milestones or showcasing their commitment. For long-distance relationships, social media offers a platform where partners can communicate daily, bridging the physical gap.
Ultimately, the impact of social media on dating and relationships is a mixed bag. While it has broadened the playing field, making it easier for individuals to meet potential partners, it has also brought about challenges that can strain relationships. It is crucial for individuals to navigate the world of social media mindfully, finding a balance between the benefits and risks. Establishing clear boundaries, open communication, and setting realistic expectations can help harness the positive aspects of social media while mitigating its negative impact.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Why People Ghost Others: An Unsettling Trend in Modern Relationships
A concerning trend has emerged in modern relationships: ghosting. We discuss 5 reasons why you may have been ghosted here!
Photo Credit: tommaso79 via iStockphoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
A concerning trend has emerged in modern relationships: ghosting. Picture this – you're invested in a connection, be it romantic, friendly, or familial, and suddenly, all communication ceases without warning. Ghosting has become increasingly prevalent in our tech-driven age, where disappearing from someone's life is as easy as tapping a button. But why do people choose to ghost others?
Fear of Confrontation and Conflict Resolution:
One primary reason for ghosting is the fear of confronting difficult conversations. Addressing feelings or concerns can be uncomfortable, leading some to opt for the easy way out – cutting off communication entirely.
Desire to Avoid Accountability and Closure:
Another contributing factor is the desire to shirk accountability. By ghosting without explanation, individuals absolve themselves of responsibility, leaving the other person confused and with unanswered questions.
Emotional Immaturity and Insecurity:
Ghosting can also be a result of emotional immaturity and insecurity. Some struggle to express their needs or confront their emotions, using ghosting as a shield against vulnerability and potential rejection.
Lack of Empathy and Emotional Disconnect:
In our screen-dominated society, emotional disconnect is common. Ghosting exemplifies this, as individuals fail to recognize the impact of their actions on others, possibly due to a lack of attachment or concern for the feelings of the person being ghosted.
The Overabundance of Options and FOMO:
Social media and dating apps present endless choices, fostering a fear of missing out. The constant search for the 'perfect' match can lead to a higher likelihood of ghosting, leaving the person on the receiving end as collateral damage.
While ghosting may seem like a convenient solution, it's emotionally damaging, eroding trust and stifling the development of healthy relationships. To combat this trend, promoting open communication, empathy, and understanding is crucial both online and offline. Let's foster relationships built on trust and respect.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
4 Reasons You Don't Need Closure
Seeking closure has become a popular notion in our society, where individuals are taught to believe that finding a resolution after a breakup, the end of a friendship, or a significant loss is necessary for healing and moving forward. We discuss 5 reasons you don’t need closure here!
Photo Credit: skyNext via istockphoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Seeking closure has become a popular notion in our society, where individuals are taught to believe that finding a resolution after a breakup, the end of a friendship, or a significant loss is necessary for healing and moving forward. While it is indeed natural to desire answers or understanding, the idea of seeking closure, as often portrayed, can be misleading and counterproductive. Here are some reasons why seeking closure may ultimately be pointless and how letting go can be a more empowering and liberating approach to healing.
1. Closure is a subjective and elusive concept:
The concept of closure implies neatly tying up loose ends, getting answers, and achieving a sense of finality. However, in reality, closure is highly subjective and can vary significantly from person to person. What may bring closure to one person might not work for another. Expecting someone else to provide closure or waiting for external factors to bring a sense of resolution can lead to frustration and a prolonged healing process.
2. Closure does not always guarantee healing:
The misconception that closure is essential for healing often sets unrealistic expectations. The truth is, that closure is not a magical switch that automatically heals emotional wounds. Healing is a personal journey that involves introspection, self-reflection, and time for emotional acceptance. Seeking closure can divert attention away from self-growth and healing by fixating on the past, hindering progress toward the future.
3. Closure may not lead to answers:
We seek closure in the hopes of finding answers to our burning questions, but this is not always promised. Sometimes, the other party involved may not be willing or able to provide satisfactory answers. In such cases, relentlessly seeking closure can become a never-ending cycle of frustration and disappointment. Instead of seeking answers externally, it may be more productive to search within oneself and find resolution through personal introspection and self-discovery.
4. Letting go offers freedom and empowerment:
Rather than relentlessly seeking closure, individuals can benefit from embracing the art of letting go. Letting go is an active process that involves accepting the situation, acknowledging one's emotions, and allowing oneself to move forward. By focusing on self-healing and personal growth, individuals can experience liberation and empowerment. Letting go allows us to reclaim our power, create new beginnings, and forge a clearer path ahead.
While the desire for closure is a natural human instinct, fixating on obtaining it can impede personal growth and healing. Seeking closure can be an endless pursuit, often leading to more questions than answers. Understanding the futility of this pursuit, individuals can begin to embrace the power of letting go. By accepting the past, acknowledging emotions, and actively moving towards self-healing, individuals can forge a new path with strength, resilience, and a renewed sense of freedom. So rather than pursuing the elusive concept of closure, let us embrace the art of letting go and open ourselves to a world of endless possibilities.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Trusting What God Blocks In Relationships
Whether it is a failed romantic relationship, a missed opportunity, or a friendship that never takes off, many reasons can elucidate why God may block certain relationships from happening. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: diego_cuervo via istockphot.com
By: Jamila Gomez
In the realm of relationships, it is not uncommon for individuals to find themselves puzzled as to why certain connections are blocked or prevented from flourishing. While it is easy to attribute these hindrances to external factors, some people believe that a higher power, often referred to as God, plays a role in such circumstances. Whether it is a failed romantic relationship, a missed opportunity, or a friendship that never takes off, many reasons can elucidate why God may block certain relationships from happening.
Divine Timing:
One reason God may block relationships is due to the notion of divine timing. Perhaps it is not the right moment for two individuals to come together, as God may have a greater plan in store for each of them that requires growth, development, or experiences outside that particular relationship. These divine timings can be influenced by various factors, such as personal growth, the pursuit of individual goals, or even the presence of other individuals who might impact the course of one's life.
Mismatched Values and Purpose:
Relationships thrive when individuals align in their values, beliefs, and visions for the future. However, if there is a significant mismatch in these aspects, God may prevent a relationship from unfolding to avoid potential disharmony, disappointment, or pain in the long run. It is said that God has a deep understanding of each person's purpose and the kind of people they need in their lives to fulfill it. Blocking relationships ensures that individuals embark on paths that align with their authentic selves.
Protecting Against Harm:
God may also block relationships as a way of shielding individuals from harm or toxic dynamics. Sometimes, people may not readily recognize certain red flags or hidden aspects of a person's character. In such cases, God, in his infinite wisdom and love, may intervene to protect them from potential heartbreak, manipulation, or even danger. The blocked relationship serves as a form of divine protection and shields individuals from harmful influences that might hinder their personal growth and well-being.
Learning and Personal Growth:
Relationships provide fertile ground for personal growth and self-discovery. However, not all connections contribute positively to one's development. Certain relationships might hinder personal progress, create unhealthy dependencies, or stall the pursuit of individual goals. In these scenarios, God may block such relationships to ensure individuals have the opportunity to grow independently, learn valuable lessons, and become the best version of themselves before engaging in a new connection.
Realigning Paths:
God's intervention in relationships can sometimes be a way of realigning individuals with their true purpose and the people who will help them fulfill it. By blocking one connection, God may be redirecting individuals towards another person who will have a more significant impact on their lives, steer them towards a different path, or present them with new opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. This redirection can be seen as a divine intervention, guiding individuals towards their ultimate destiny.
While it may be challenging to accept or understand why certain relationships are blocked, it is essential to trust that everything happens for a reason. Even when it may seem frustrating or disheartening, acknowledging that a higher power might be involved allows individuals to seek solace in the belief that there is a greater plan at work. Through faith and acceptance, one can find peace and move forward on their life's journey, confident that the right relationships will ultimately unfold when the time is right.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
5 Ways To Identify A Narcissist
If you suspect you are in any kind of relationship with a narcissistic person, pay attention to these five signs. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Diva Plavalaguna via Pexels.com
By: Jamila Gomez
A narcissist is essentially someone who is excessively self-centered and obsessed with themselves. They constantly seek attention and validation from others and have little to no regard for anyone else’s feelings or needs. Narcissistic individuals can be highly controlling and manipulative, often using emotional manipulation to get what they want. They may also gaslight people, making them question their reality and memory. If you suspect you are in any kind of relationship with a narcissistic person, pay attention to the signs. Also, if you suspect that you are in any kind of relationship with a narcissist, it is essential to seek professional help so that you can learn how to best deal with this challenging individual.
Here are five red flags to look out for:
Excessive need for admiration and attention:
Narcissists have an excessive need for attention and admiration, manifesting as a desire to be the center of attention, a belief in their superiority, or a constant craving for affirmation and approval. While it is perfectly normal to want some level of attention and admiration from those important to us, narcissists take this to an extreme, often needing constant reassurance and validation.
Lack of empathy and disregard for other people’s feelings:
Narcissists have a bloated ego, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. But what does that look like in a relationship? A narcissistic individual is often dismissive and critical, making the other person feel invisible. They can also become very angry quickly and lack the ability to see other people’s perspectives. As a result, the other person often feels emotionally drained and unsupported.
Taking advantage of people and using them to get what they want:
Narcissists are often very charming at first, but eventually, their true colors show. They are manipulative and controlling, taking advantage of people to get what they want. If you are in any kind of relationship with a narcissist, be aware of their behavior to protect yourself from being used.
Grandiose sense of self-importance:
Narcissists often have a flamboyant sense of prestige, magnifying their accomplishments and talents and expecting recognition as superior. They may become angry or disappointed when they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. Some narcissists are control freaks, expecting their partner to comply with their standards and meet their needs without regard for the other person’s wants or needs.
Patterns of intense and unstable relationships, quickly switching from honor to reduction:
Narcissists often see their partners as perfect and unconditionally loving. However, eventually, they begin fault-finding, picking at every little thing they may take issue with. They may also withdraw their affection and become emotionally distant.
If you’re always around someone who exhibits these traits, you should either learn how to combat it or move on. Narcissists often take advantage of their partners by being manipulative and controlling. Pay attention to these red flags to help you make an informed decision about the future of your relationship.