Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life | The Keys to Stopping Self-Sabotage
By: Jamila Gomez
Whether we are aware or not, a lot of us get in our own way all the time. We have an idea of something we want to have or do, and then we do everything possible under the sun to make sure we never have or do it. Then we turn around and complain about it, wishing even more than before that things would change. That, my friends, is called self-sabotage. We have it bad and we need to let it go.
You see, self-sabotage – put it another way – is when we freeze our own progress in life. We are not talking about when we encounter situations and circumstances we cannot control. This is about the things we do (or don’t do) to OURSELVES to make sure we don’t get what we want, or at least take the long way around. Hence the word self. This is all about us.
So, what does self-sabotage actually look like?
Well, there are several different things that come into play when self-sabotage is being activated in our lives. Self-sabotage can come in the form of procrastination, indecision, negative self-talk, and unhealthy habits. Examples of these things could be: obviously, putting off important tasks until a much later date and/or time (or forever); doubting that the decision you want to make is the right one for you; putting yourself down; and becoming a worry wart. Perfectionism is also a way we sabotage ourselves. We wait until circumstances are perfect before we move. If the perfect time or circumstance never comes, we never move.
The next question is why. Why do we engage in self-sabotage?
Again, there are many reasons. One reason is that we don’t think we are worthy or good enough to have the thing that we want. We don’t like to take risks. We fear the unknown. We fear failure. We fear success. We receive pleasure from our comfort zone - even when we’re not necessarily comfortable in that zone, we are comfortable with not moving. We lack confidence. We are insecure. I could keep going, but you get the picture by now. The last thing I will mention is we lack awareness. A lot of times we are sabotaging ourselves and we don’t know it because we’re so used to doing what we’re doing that is causing the sabotage in the first place!
So, how do you defeat self-sabotage?
Once again, there are many ways. First and foremost, you need to step your belief game up. You have to believe in yourself and your abilities and capabilities. Know that you know that you have what it takes to do and have whatever you want. You also need to get over your fears. You do this by thinking about all the positive possibilities and all of the good things that can and will happen once you decide to go after the thing. Accept that you feel the fear but use the possibilities as fuel to move. Let go of the control. You don’t NEED to know how things will turn out. It will be what it will be, but it’ll never be if you don’t move. Don’t be scared to fail. Failure is where your lessons lie. When you fail, but you learn, you can take what you’ve learned and try again with that new information.
Lastly, there is one last massive thing you should do to combat self-sabotage. When you feel yourself about to engage in even a thought that will cause you to do something that will sabotage your progress, immediately counter it with the opposite. Your thoughts control your emotions, and your emotions control your actions. Change your thoughts, change your life.
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