Don’t Go Back to What Broke You
Photo Credit: Delmaine Donson via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Life is a journey filled with twists and turns, some of which can lead us into dark and painful places. Whether it's a toxic relationship, a destructive habit, or an unhealthy environment, many of us have experienced situations that left us broken. The process of healing from these experiences is difficult, but the temptation to return to what once broke us can be even harder to resist. It might seem easier to go back to the familiar, even if it's harmful, rather than face the unknown of moving forward. However, it's essential to remember that going back to what broke you will only hinder your growth and keep you trapped in a cycle of pain.
The Comfort of Familiarity
One of the reasons people are drawn back to what hurt them is the comfort of familiarity. Our brains are wired to seek out what we know, even if it’s not good for us. A toxic relationship, for instance, might feel like home because it’s what we’ve grown accustomed to. The idea of leaving that behind can feel like stepping into a void, where nothing is certain.
However, familiarity is not the same as safety. Just because something is known doesn’t mean it’s good for you. The discomfort of the unknown is a small price to pay for the freedom and peace that comes with leaving behind what broke you.
The Illusion of Change
Another powerful lure to return to what broke you is the hope that things have changed. You might think that people, situations, or environments have improved or that you’ve grown strong enough to handle them differently. While it’s possible for people and circumstances to change, it’s important to be realistic.
Change takes time and effort, and it’s not always guaranteed. More often than not, going back to what broke you means returning to the same patterns and behaviors that caused you pain in the first place. It’s crucial to assess whether genuine change has occurred or if you’re simply holding onto the hope that things will be different this time.
The Cycle of Brokenness
Returning to what broke you often results in a vicious cycle. You find yourself back in the same situations, repeating the same patterns, and experiencing the same pain. This cycle can be exhausting, eroding your self-esteem and making it harder to break free each time.
Breaking this cycle requires courage and a commitment to your own well-being. It means recognizing that you deserve better than the hurtful situations you've experienced and that you have the power to create a different future. By refusing to go back, you disrupt the cycle and open up space for healing and growth.
Self-Worth and Boundaries
Not going back to what broke you is an act of self-love. It’s a declaration that you value yourself enough to protect your peace and well-being. This requires setting and enforcing boundaries, which can be challenging, especially if you’re used to putting others’ needs before your own.
Setting boundaries means understanding your limits and refusing to compromise them, even if it makes others uncomfortable. It’s about prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical health over the desire to please others or maintain the status quo. In doing so, you create a safer and healthier environment for yourself, one where you can thrive rather than just survive.
The Strength in Moving Forward
Moving forward after being broken is an act of immense strength. It takes resilience to walk away from something that once had a hold on you, and even more strength to keep moving in a new direction. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.
In moving forward, you reclaim your power. You’re no longer defined by what broke you, but by how you chose to rise from it. This journey of self-discovery and growth may be difficult, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. As you move forward, you’ll begin to see the possibilities that lie ahead, rather than the pain that lies behind.
Embracing the Unknown
The future can be daunting, especially when it’s uncharted territory. But it’s in the unknown that we find new opportunities, experiences, and connections that can bring joy and fulfillment. Embracing the unknown means trusting that there’s more for you beyond what broke you—more love, more happiness, and more peace.
While it’s natural to feel fear when stepping into the unknown, it’s important to remember that growth happens outside of your comfort zone. By choosing not to go back to what broke you, you’re giving yourself the chance to grow into the person you’re meant to be, free from the shadows of the past.
Choosing Yourself
At the heart of the decision not to go back to what broke you is a simple yet profound choice: to choose yourself. Choosing yourself means prioritizing your healing, your happiness, and your future over the familiar pain of the past. It’s about recognizing your worth and refusing to settle for anything less than you deserve.
Life is too short to spend it in places or with people that break you. The path forward may be uncertain, but it’s filled with the potential for healing, growth, and joy. So, choose to move forward. Choose to leave behind what broke you. Choose to create a life where you can truly thrive.
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