Living For Yourself: Who Is "They" And Why Do "They" Matter?
By: Jamila Gomez
You ever been in a conversation with someone and they start to recall something that “they” said? I have done it plenty of times myself. I’m willing to bet that you have as well. We remember more about what “they” said more than what we said. What “they” say holds a lot of weight for us.
We often find ourselves framing our world around what “they” say. We devalue our worth and don’t go forth in the things God has for us because of what “they” say. “They” said you’re not good enough. “They” said you weren’t qualified. “They” said you were too ugly or too fat. We’ve had all this negativity “they” spoke over us and it has hindered our progress. But seriously consider these questions: WHO IN THE WORLD IS “THEY”? And why do “they” matter so much?
“They” are the dream killers. The confidence crushers. The people who really don’t want the best for us or don’t believe we deserve the best. Some of us can put faces and names to who “they” are. “They” could be our family members and friends. “They” could be coworkers or bosses.
It is not uncommon for “they” to be those closest to us who do the most damage to our self-esteem. It is because of the relationships and closeness we share that makes it so hard not to take their opinions personally. We seek the most validation from them the most. Then there is the “they” we don’t know from a leaf on a tree and vice versa.
These are the ones who know very little, if anything at all, about us. They don’t know what we’ve been through that makes us who we are. They don’t understand the experiences we’ve had that shaped our thoughts. Yet, we care very deeply about what “they” say. And we need to stop. Or at least care a little less.
Don’t misunderstand. It’s a natural human feeling to be concerned with how others perceive us. All of us seek approval from others. There is nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when we allow the negative things “they” say to hinder us. We stop dead in our tracks when someone has something negative or disapproving to say. What we don’t realize is that a lot of times, “they” are negative towards us because of the way they feel about themselves on the inside and they are projecting. We can’t take what “they” say so personally all the time.
There is a saying that goes, “what people think about you is none of your business”. And it’s so very true! Whether they think highly of us or think we’re the scum of the earth, it shouldn’t matter because it has no impact on the things that are meant for us. Our destiny was defined before we were. Our future was already planned out before we thought about it. So why are we letting “they” kick our butts so hard? We need to stop worrying about what “they” think and start doing things according to what we know. Because at the end of the day, “they” really don’t matter.
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