Situational Acceptance And Avoidance: Grow Through What You Go Through
By: Jordan King
As a son of the South, my life as a Brown Man has had its shares of strife. Yet, Mama told me that Life ain’t no crystal stair…to take Charge of your magic and your pen! And Most Importantly, know your worth and speak your individual truth. On the other hand, while we deal with acceptance every day, we often neglect the effect that Avoidance has within our lives.
Personally I admit it. I have been in deep valleys, as well as graced mountaintops. To continue forward in life requires true grit, stamina and consistency. To deal with acceptance, especially after the collective experience that this past year alone has plagued us with; it’s essential to maintain hope.
At its core, hope is both equal parts acceptance and faith. Regardless of any religion, true acceptance comes from within. We ALL deal with many issues in our individual walks, yet the true *Souljahs power on. To live is to suffer, yet we must find meaning and *happiness in the midst of the strife.
Pertaining to those considered minorities in this countries in America (specifically those of color and indigenous); the need to attain acceptance within society is critical. While there does exist many methods of coping, systemic barriers still remain in firm foundation. Let’s be clear, I am WELL acquainted with the “action” of avoidance. Periodt! LoL. To be fair, I’m aware that we can, or should, avoid certain negative things and situation.
Life twists and turns in ways most mysterious to man (or woman*). Yet we shall and will overcome! To avoid is to also “distract from” or to “stay away from”. Yes, MANY examples exist on positive avoidance (drugs, crime, hate, etc); and it’s also completely normal to avoid things we must face head on like schoolwork, that tough conversation or even taxes! Especially Self-care, right as we need it the most it seems. Nothing that is honestly not conducive to you personally should be avoided at all costs. My focus would then be those situations where we actually need to face, yet we either knowingly or unknowingly face them or proceed to run from.
My point is that avoidance can actually prove detrimental. We are all placed on this planet for divine purposes. We all matter and your SPIRIT has EXTREME value. Sometimes, we may tend to block our own blessings by sidestepping certain divine obstacles. When your faith is tested, and you decide to endure vs avoid…usually that which we seek is just beyond the veil. To embrace the avoidance or acceptance* is to accept your own humanity. While we ALL are divine, we can’t control everything. Simply said….Sh*t happens!
One of my many mentors said once, “You grow through what you go through”. You don’t reach your altitude until you dance with those demons. Sometime it is in fact OKAY to choose violence. It certainly seems attractive when it involves conquering that which may hold you back. We must occasionally face that which scares us. Only then will we make the step towards true wellness.
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