Practicing Gratitude: A Radical Act of Joy
Practicing gratitude as a Black person is a revolutionary act of joy, resilience, and healing that honors our ancestors, celebrates our culture, and empowers us to thrive despite systemic challenges. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Tassil via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Being Black in this world is a unique experience—one filled with beauty, resilience, and deep cultural richness, but also with challenges that can be exhausting. Every day, we navigate spaces that weren’t always designed for us, carry generational struggles, and face both overt and subtle forms of discrimination. Yet, despite all of that, we continue to create, thrive, and love. And one of the most powerful ways we can protect our joy is through the practice of gratitude.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring struggles or pretending oppression doesn’t exist. It’s about recognizing our power, our community, and the blessings that sustain us. It’s about reclaiming our joy in a world that often tries to dim our light.
Gratitude as Resistance
There’s something revolutionary about choosing to see the good in your life when society constantly reminds you of its hardships. When we take time to acknowledge what we’re grateful for—our ancestors’ sacrifices, our culture’s resilience, the love we share with our people—we are resisting narratives that tell us we should always be struggling.
Black joy is an act of defiance. Gratitude strengthens that joy by reminding us that, despite what history and systems have tried to do, we are still here. We are still creating, still innovating, still loving, still pushing forward.
Finding Gratitude in the Everyday
Practicing gratitude doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes in the morning to reflect on what you appreciate, journaling about small wins, or even telling your people how much they mean to you. Here are some ways to integrate gratitude into your daily life:
1. Honor Your Ancestors – Take a moment to reflect on those who came before you. Whether through prayer, storytelling, or simply acknowledging their sacrifices, expressing gratitude for their resilience is a powerful way to stay grounded.
2. Celebrate Black Creativity – Be grateful for the music, art, literature, and innovation that Black people have contributed to the world. Whether it’s a song that lifts your spirit or a book that inspires you, take time to appreciate our cultural genius.
3. Thank Your Community – From family and friends to mentors and strangers who support you, recognize the people who show up for you. Gratitude strengthens our bonds and reminds us that we’re not alone.
4. Appreciate Your Own Growth – You’ve survived things that were meant to break you. Give yourself credit. Express gratitude for your strength, your growth, and the lessons you’ve learned.
Gratitude Keeps Us Whole
Practicing gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means choosing to see the beauty in the midst of struggle, to uplift ourselves, and to keep our spirits intact. In a world that often tries to wear us down, gratitude is a tool for survival, healing, and joy. And that, in itself, is revolutionary.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Sisterhood in Self-Care: Building a Supportive Community for Black Women
Building a supportive self-care community among Black women fosters empowerment, healing, and mutual support through shared experiences and intentional connection. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Lorado via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Building a supportive self-care community among Black women can be a transformative journey of mutual support, empowerment, and shared healing. In a world where daily stressors and systemic challenges often weigh heavily, connecting with other Black women who understand these experiences can provide a powerful sense of belonging and validation. Here are a few guiding principles to consider when fostering such a community.
1. Start with Intention
Begin by defining what you hope to create. Are you looking for a group focused on mental wellness, physical well-being, spiritual growth, or a combination of these elements? Establishing a clear vision helps set the tone, shape group activities, and attract those who will benefit the most from this space.
2. Choose the Right Platforms
It can be helpful to utilize both online and offline spaces to build your community. Social media platforms, private group chats, and video conference tools enable members to stay connected across different locations and time zones. Meanwhile, in-person gatherings—like monthly coffee meetups or wellness circles—foster deeper, face-to-face connections. Striking a balance between virtual and physical interactions ensures that the community remains accessible and engaging.
3. Create a Safe Space
A supportive self-care community thrives on trust and authenticity. Lay down ground rules that emphasize respect, confidentiality, and kindness. Encourage members to speak openly about their challenges, anxieties, and triumphs. Recognizing that many Black women face microaggressions, discrimination, and unique mental health stressors, a culture of understanding and empathy is essential.
4. Encourage Collective Learning
Sharing knowledge and resources is a key aspect of community building. Plan skill-sharing sessions on topics ranging from mindfulness practices to financial wellness. Invite experts—such as therapists, dietitians, or fitness instructors—who understand the specific experiences of Black women. This ensures that discussions are tailored and culturally relevant, enriching the group’s collective wisdom.
5. Celebrate Individual and Collective Wins
Acknowledging achievements, whether big or small, fosters motivation and solidarity. This can be as simple as hosting a virtual “praise break” session where members highlight personal wins from the week, or organizing an in-person gathering to celebrate milestones like job promotions or new business ventures. Recognizing success helps reinforce the sense of unity and support within the group.
6. Practice Sustained Self-Care
Encourage members to develop personalized self-care routines that address their unique emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Provide regular check-ins to keep each other accountable. Recommendations for journaling, guided meditation, yoga classes, or nature walks can enhance overall well-being. By keeping self-care at the center of everything you do, members can better support themselves and each other.
7. Prioritize Growth and Adaptation
As life circumstances change, your community’s needs will evolve too. Routinely assess what is working and what could be improved. Staying flexible ensures the group remains relevant, uplifting, and supportive as members grow and flourish together.
Through intentional organization, authenticity, and shared commitment, Black women can cultivate powerful self-care networks that nurture strength, healing, and collective uplift.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Creating a Safe Space for Vulnerability and Healing with a Partner
Learn how to create a safe space for vulnerability and healing in relationships through empathy, trust, and open communication. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: vitapix via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
In any healthy relationship, fostering a safe space for vulnerability and healing is essential for deep connection and growth. Relationships thrive when both partners feel secure enough to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or rejection. Creating this space is not just about words but also about actions and attitudes that reinforce trust and emotional safety.
Understanding Vulnerability
Vulnerability is often misunderstood as weakness, but in reality, it is a profound strength. Being vulnerable involves sharing fears, dreams, insecurities, and wounds—elements of our inner selves that we often protect. For healing to occur, these elements must be met with empathy and compassion, not criticism or dismissal. A safe space allows both partners to open up without feeling exposed or ridiculed.
Communication: The Cornerstone of Safety
Clear, honest, and non-judgmental communication is vital in creating a secure environment. Actively listening to your partner, without interrupting or jumping to conclusions, builds trust. Reflective listening—paraphrasing their words to show understanding—can help clarify emotions and validate their experiences. Avoiding blame or defensiveness ensures that the conversation remains constructive.
For example, instead of saying, “You always ignore me,” reframe it as, “I feel unheard when you don’t respond to me.” This shift focuses on feelings rather than accusations, encouraging your partner to respond with empathy rather than defensiveness.
Building Emotional Trust
Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, and it grows through consistency and authenticity. Keeping promises, being dependable, and showing genuine care are all ways to cultivate trust. When a partner opens up, responding with warmth and acceptance reinforces their sense of safety. Conversely, dismissing or minimizing their feelings can erode trust over time.
Creating a Non-Judgmental Atmosphere
A non-judgmental attitude is critical in promoting healing. Everyone carries emotional scars, and these wounds often manifest in ways we may not fully understand. Recognizing that your partner’s behavior stems from their unique experiences allows you to approach challenges with compassion rather than frustration.
Practicing Patience
Healing takes time. Your partner may need to revisit painful topics or process emotions at their own pace. Rushing or pressuring them to “move on” can hinder their progress. Instead, offer consistent reassurance and remind them that their feelings are valid and important.
Shared Activities for Connection
Engaging in activities that promote connection, such as mindfulness practices, couples’ therapy, or even shared hobbies, can strengthen the bond and create a supportive framework for healing.
Creating a safe space for vulnerability and healing is an ongoing process that requires intention and effort from both partners. By prioritizing empathy, trust, and open communication, couples can transform their relationship into a sanctuary where both individuals feel valued and understood. This foundation not only promotes healing but also fosters a deeper, more resilient connection.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Overcoming Trust Issues: How to Build Healthy Foundations After Betrayal
Healing from betrayal involves rebuilding trust in yourself, practicing open communication, and fostering relationships rooted in respect and honesty. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: LaylaBird via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Betrayal can be one of the most emotionally painful experiences, leaving scars that make trusting again feel impossible. Whether it stems from a romantic relationship, friendship, or family ties, betrayal shakes the very foundation of trust, creating feelings of vulnerability, anger, and fear. However, it’s important to remember that healing is possible, and trust can be rebuilt—not just with others but within yourself.
Acknowledge and Process the Pain
The first step in overcoming trust issues is acknowledging your emotions. Suppressing feelings of betrayal often leads to prolonged resentment or self-doubt. Journaling, speaking with a trusted confidant, or seeking therapy can provide safe outlets to process these emotions. By naming the hurt and recognizing its source, you begin the journey of self-awareness and healing.
Rebuild Trust in Yourself
Betrayal often leaves people questioning their judgment. Did I miss the signs? Was I too trusting? Rebuilding trust in yourself is crucial before attempting to trust others. Focus on strengthening your intuition and decision-making skills. Set boundaries that protect your emotional well-being, and learn to listen to your instincts. When you trust yourself, you’re better equipped to trust others.
Communicate Openly and Honestly
Healthy relationships are built on clear, honest communication. If you’re working on repairing trust with someone who betrayed you, have open conversations about what happened and what needs to change. Be clear about your boundaries and expectations moving forward. If they’re genuinely remorseful, their actions should align with their words over time.
Be Patient with the Process
Rebuilding trust takes time, and it’s not a linear journey. It’s normal to feel cautious or experience setbacks. Be patient with yourself and others. Celebrate small wins, like being able to share your feelings or take a leap of faith in a new relationship.
Focus on Relationships Built on Mutual Respect
While rebuilding trust, prioritize relationships where respect, empathy, and accountability are present. Surround yourself with people who value honesty and demonstrate reliability through consistent actions.
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the betrayal; it’s about releasing the emotional burden it holds over you. By forgiving, you reclaim your peace and pave the way for new, healthier connections.
Healing from betrayal isn’t easy, but it’s possible. With time, effort, and a commitment to self-growth, you can overcome trust issues and lay the groundwork for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Black Joy as Resistance: Embracing Happiness Despite Adversity
Black joy serves as a powerful act of resistance, celebrating the resilience and vibrancy of Black culture while countering systemic oppression. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: PeopleImages via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Black joy is a powerful act of resistance, a deliberate choice to experience happiness in the face of systemic oppression, discrimination, and societal challenges. Historically, Black communities have been marginalized and subjected to systemic inequities, and while the narratives often focus on struggle, survival, and resilience, Black joy brings a transformative dimension to the fight for justice and equity. This joy is not merely about momentary happiness but is a profound assertion of humanity, dignity, and self-worth.
At its core, Black joy resists the notion that pain and trauma should define the Black experience. Throughout history, Black people have found ways to celebrate life despite adversity. Whether through music, dance, food, spirituality, or storytelling, Black joy has always been interwoven with culture and identity. From the rhythms of jazz, soul, and hip-hop to the laughter shared at family gatherings and the joy expressed in Black art, each act of joy is a reminder of the richness of Black culture and heritage. These expressions challenge limiting narratives and reinforce a broader, more authentic view of what it means to live and thrive as a Black person.
Black joy is also an antidote to oppression, a way of reclaiming agency in a world that often tries to strip it away. Rather than passively enduring hardship, embracing joy disrupts narratives of victimhood and instead cultivates strength and resilience. It is a way of saying, “We will not let the weight of injustice rob us of our humanity.” This joyful resistance is evident in the celebration of Blackness, the appreciation of shared history, and the embracing of community. By choosing to revel in the beauty of Black life, Black communities resist systems that have attempted to devalue and marginalize them.
Furthermore, Black joy can create space for healing, community, and solidarity. It allows Black individuals to affirm their identities, celebrate each other’s successes, and draw strength from shared experiences. This joy is contagious, spreading a message that Black lives are not defined solely by struggle but are filled with love, laughter, and triumphs.
In embracing Black joy as resistance, Black communities refuse to be solely defined by their struggles. Instead, they assert a powerful, enduring message: that Black life, in all its beauty and vibrancy, is worth celebrating. Black joy is a testament to the resilience and richness of Black culture, a radiant light that continues to shine, undeterred by adversity.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
The Power of Not Going Back
Choosing not to return to what hurt you is a powerful act of self-love that promotes healing, personal growth, and emotional freedom. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: PeopleImages via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
At some point in life, we’ve all faced moments where we’ve been deeply hurt. Whether it’s by people, places, or situations, these experiences can leave lasting wounds. What’s important, though, is not just how we heal but also the decisions we make moving forward. One of the most empowering choices we can make is to not go back to what hurt us.
Here’s why breaking free is so crucial for your personal growth and well-being.
1. Healing Isn’t Linear, But Reopening Wounds Sets You Back
Healing from emotional pain is a process. It’s not always smooth, and there will be ups and downs. However, when you go back to the environments, people, or situations that caused the pain, you risk reopening wounds that were starting to heal. Imagine a physical wound—each time you tear it open, it takes longer to close. Emotional scars work the same way. Returning to a toxic person, an unhealthy relationship, or a damaging environment may undo the hard work you’ve put into your recovery.
2. Growth Requires New Spaces and Connections
To grow as individuals, we need to challenge ourselves, learn, and experience new things. Growth seldom happens in places of comfort, and it almost never occurs in environments that suppress our potential. When we return to toxic people or situations, we often fall into old habits and mindsets. It’s difficult to move forward when you’re stuck in the past, constantly replaying hurtful scenarios.
New people and new spaces bring fresh perspectives. They encourage you to think differently and explore parts of yourself that you may have neglected or buried in painful environments. By staying in situations that hurt you, you’re limiting your growth and denying yourself the chance to thrive in healthier, more positive spaces.
3. You Deserve Peace and Respect
One of the hardest lessons to learn is that not everyone and everything deserves your time and energy. When you keep returning to people or situations that have consistently hurt you, you’re indirectly telling yourself that you don’t deserve better. But you do.
You deserve relationships that are based on mutual respect, where you feel safe, valued, and understood. You deserve to spend time in environments that uplift you, not ones that drain your energy or make you feel small. Recognizing your own worth and respecting your boundaries is key to building a life where peace and contentment are the norms, not the exceptions.
4. Breaking the Cycle of Toxicity
Often, going back to hurtful situations feels familiar. It may even feel easier than starting fresh because we get used to certain patterns of behavior, even if they’re harmful. But this cycle of toxicity can be devastating for our mental and emotional health.
Each time you return to a toxic person or situation, you’re reinforcing the belief that this is what you deserve, and you become more entangled in a web of pain, resentment, and frustration. Breaking free from this cycle is a powerful act of self-love and strength. It says, “I am more than this pain, and I am not defined by this experience.”
5. The Fear of the Unknown Is Temporary, but Freedom Lasts
One of the main reasons people return to hurtful situations is fear—fear of being alone, fear of the unknown, or fear that there’s nothing better out there. But the fear of the unknown is temporary. What feels uncomfortable at first will gradually become empowering as you start to realize that there is a world beyond the pain. New opportunities, relationships, and experiences are out there waiting for you, but you can only find them if you’re willing to let go of what no longer serves you.
Stepping into the unknown is a form of liberation. It allows you to explore new paths, discover new strengths, and ultimately create a life where you are not weighed down by the burdens of the past.
6. Trust in Your Ability to Rebuild
Sometimes we go back to painful situations because we think it’s too late to start over. We convince ourselves that we’ve invested too much time, energy, or love into something to let it go. But the truth is, no investment in your well-being is ever wasted. Walking away doesn’t mean failure; it means choosing yourself.
You have the strength to rebuild. It may be slow, and there will be moments of doubt, but each step forward is a victory. Trust in your ability to create something new and better. By not going back to what hurt you, you’re giving yourself the chance to rebuild a life that is aligned with your values, desires, and emotional well-being.
Choose Freedom, Not Familiar Pain
It takes immense courage to walk away from people, places, and situations that hurt us. Familiarity can often trick us into thinking we should stay, but it’s essential to remember that comfort isn’t always good for you. Growth, healing, and self-respect often require making the hard choice to leave behind what no longer serves you.
By choosing not to go back, you’re prioritizing your mental and emotional health, investing in your personal growth, and creating space for better things to enter your life. The path forward may be unknown, but it is a journey toward freedom, peace, and self-love—a journey that you are more than capable of walking.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger
Be the person you needed to be when you were younger, and empower yourself and others by becoming that person. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: andreswd via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
As we grow older, we often find ourselves reflecting on the past—on the person we once were and the experiences that shaped us. There’s a common piece of advice that resonates deeply with many: "Be who you needed when you were younger." This simple yet profound concept encourages us to become the person our younger selves desperately needed, to fill the gaps that were once empty, and to offer the guidance, support, and love that we might have lacked.
But what does it truly mean to embody this idea, and how can we apply it to our lives?
Understanding the Concept: Why It Matters
When we think back to our younger years, we may remember moments of vulnerability, confusion, or loneliness. Perhaps we needed someone to listen, to believe in us, or to simply offer reassurance that everything would be okay. Unfortunately, not everyone had that kind of support.
Being who you needed when you were younger is about healing those past wounds by becoming the source of strength, wisdom, and kindness that you once craved. It's about breaking the cycle and providing for others—and for your current self—the compassion and understanding that might have been missing in your own life.
1. Providing the Support You Longed For
Many of us faced challenges in our youth—feeling misunderstood, struggling with self-esteem, or dealing with difficult circumstances without a reliable support system. As an adult, you have the opportunity to offer others the support you wish you had. Whether it's mentoring a young person, being a supportive friend, or simply offering a listening ear, you can make a significant difference in someone’s life by being present in the way you needed someone to be for you.
2. Embracing Your Authenticity
Growing up, you may have felt pressure to conform to certain expectations or standards, suppressing your true self in the process. Now, you have the power to embrace your authenticity and live unapologetically as the person you are. By doing so, you not only honor your younger self but also inspire others to do the same. Being who you needed when you were younger means showing up as your authentic self, giving others permission to do likewise.
3. Cultivating Self-Compassion
One of the most powerful ways to be who you needed when you were younger is to practice self-compassion. As a child or teenager, you may have been overly critical of yourself, constantly striving for perfection or feeling inadequate. Now, you can offer yourself the kindness and understanding you once needed. Treat yourself with the same love and compassion you would have given to a friend in need. This not only heals old wounds but also fosters a healthier, more resilient mindset.
4. Breaking the Cycle
Many of the struggles we faced in our youth were inherited from the generations before us—patterns of behavior, limiting beliefs, and unresolved trauma. By consciously working to break these cycles, you can create a healthier, more positive environment for yourself and those around you. This might involve setting boundaries, challenging negative thought patterns, or seeking therapy to address unresolved issues. Breaking the cycle is a powerful way to ensure that the next generation doesn't have to carry the same burdens.
5. Inspiring and Guiding Others
Think about the role models you wished you had when you were younger. Perhaps you longed for someone who would inspire you to pursue your dreams, or someone who could guide you through tough times. Now, you have the chance to be that role model for others. Share your experiences, offer advice, and encourage others to believe in themselves. By doing so, you can have a lasting impact on their lives, just as you once hoped someone would for you.
6. Forgiving the Past
Part of being who you needed when you were younger involves forgiving the past—both yourself and others. Holding on to resentment or regret only keeps you tethered to the pain of your youth. By forgiving those who may have let you down and forgiving yourself for any perceived shortcomings, you free yourself to move forward with a lighter heart. This act of forgiveness is not about condoning the past but about releasing its hold on your present and future.
7. Building a Life You Love
Finally, being who you needed when you were younger means building a life that reflects your deepest values and desires. It means pursuing your passions, nurturing meaningful relationships, and creating a life that feels fulfilling and authentic. Your younger self may have had dreams and aspirations that were left unfulfilled—now is the time to honor those dreams and make them a reality. By doing so, you pay tribute to the person you once were and the journey that brought you here.
A Path to Healing and Empowerment
Being who you needed when you were younger is a powerful way to heal the wounds of the past while empowering yourself and others in the present. It’s a journey of self-discovery, compassion, and growth. By offering the support, understanding, and love that you once needed, you create a ripple effect that can transform not only your life but also the lives of those around you.
So, take a moment to reflect on who you needed when you were younger, and consider how you can embody that person today. Whether through acts of kindness, embracing your authenticity, or breaking negative cycles, each step you take brings you closer to the life you deserve and the person you were always meant to be.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Self Care Tips: 3 Tips To Self Healing Emotionally
Self healing and dealing with your emotions is critical to your state of happiness! Here are 3 self care Tips To Self-Healing Emotionally!
By Alyssa Cole
1. Let Go of Your Fear Of Rejection
We are human and no we don't enjoy getting hurt feelings by people people we like, however, don't let your fear or rejection be the reason you don't take chances to express how you feel about someone. If it doesn't work out, you have to tell yourself everything happens for a reason and that better things are coming your way! Start letting go of fear!
SEE ALSO: Learning Lessons In Patience and Accountability
2. Stop Reminiscing
I'm guilty of this one myself! We all have that one person who we think about from time and time and then you find yourself in your feelings and you start to think what if, if we can work it out, and eventually we make things worse! As challenging as this one is, it's important to remind yourself that thinking about past good times can cause emotional distress. It can create mental stress and emotional stress without you even realizing it. Did you know that?! So let's focus on the present now and keep moving forward past the old times.
>> SEE ALSO: The Spectacle Of Self-Love: A Radical Approach To Self-Love And Appreciation
3. Failure Is The Key To Success
For some, failing has a huge impact on their pride and self-esteem, and that is not something you want to go through. Your self esteem is important daily and you want to keep it up as high as you can to avoid feeling sorry for yourself because this is what causes depression. Practice flipping failure into success by saying positive affirmations like this "I know I didn't do so good on that test but I'll study harder next time so I can do better." Doesn't that sound better than "I failed this test, I'm stupid." Yes, it sounds wayy better! Constantly flip your failures into success and you'll notice a major difference in your self confidence and self-esteem.
These 3 Tips will help you get that much closer to being where you want to be emotionally!
>> SEE ALSO: Mastering Forgiveness: Letting Go of Past Grudges
THIS ARTICLE IS RELATED TO: healing emotional wounds, emotional health, healing woman, emotionally strong woman, healthy woman, stress free life
