The Choice Is Yours: Why Forgiveness is Necessary
By: Jamila Gomez
You may not believe me when I say this, but it’s a fact: you can choose the thoughts you think at any time. You have full control over the thoughts that control your emotions, which ultimately control your actions. Many don’t realize how it all works together, and it doesn’t always work for everyone in every situation. But it’s more possible than people realize.
This choice -- the choice to choose one’s thoughts – is a gift given to us for free, ready to be received whenever we want it. Think of a time when someone has been physically imprisoned because of another person’s actions and eventually released. Suppose I ask that person if they’ve forgiven the people who put them in the position to be imprisoned to begin with and they say no. So, what does this tell you?
It tells you that this person is holding onto that anger. Rightfully so, because it is indeed understandable that one would naturally be angry about a situation like this. The truth, though, is that they’re still imprisoned. So, then the question becomes who is doing the imprisoning now? That person is!
The fact of the matter is that, in this moment, they're no longer in prison in the physical, but because that person refuses to forgive the situation, that person is mentally imprisoned. We should no longer allow ourselves to be prisoners in our own minds any longer.
This begs yet another question: how can some people forgive such unspeakable circumstances and others can’t? It’s a real question. And we’ve all been on both ends of the spectrum. The fact of the matter, though, is that we’re all able. The problem lies in whether or not we WANT to do it. Many of us don’t want to forgive. Many people get pleasure from the attention and sympathy they receive from others when they don’t forgive. They enjoy feeling like a victim as opposed to taking their power back and reclaiming our right to live full and prosperous lives.
We all have to make a choice on how we will deal with the cards our lives have dealt us. We really only have to choose between two choices: allowing ourselves to be imprisoned mentally or taking life by horns and do some incredible things despite all the negative experiences we’ve endured. We also have to come to the understanding of who the forgiveness is actually for.
So many people think that when they forgive, it means that the other person’s behavior is excused or goes unpunished, although we don’t have the power to punish people in that way. But people assume that when they forgive, they are letting the offender off the hook. That is not how this goes. When you forgive, you are letting YOU off the hook.
If you’re currently struggling with unforgiveness, I would encourage you to really ask yourself why. Ask yourself honestly and sincerely. Get really clear on your reasons so that you can have an understanding of the choice that you're making with all your awareness. And this way, if you make the choice not to forgive, you are doing so with the understanding of what are you really doing, and to whom, and why.
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