The Difference Between Chemistry & Compatibility: What Really Matters in Love
Understanding the difference between chemistry and compatibility in relationships can help you build lasting love by balancing passion with shared values, communication, and long-term stability. We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: LaylaBird via iStockPhoto.com
By: Jamila Gomez
Love is a tricky game. One minute, you’re caught up in a whirlwind romance, feeling butterflies every time they text. The next, you’re side-eyeing them across the room, realizing you don’t actually like the same things, want the same future, or even argue in a way that makes sense. This is where the great debate begins: chemistry vs. compatibility—which one really matters in love?
What is Chemistry?
Chemistry is that instant spark. It’s the energy between two people that makes you feel drawn to them, sometimes without even knowing why. It’s the way they make you laugh, the inside jokes, the effortless conversation, and that deep, unspoken attraction that keeps you coming back for more. Chemistry is what makes a date go from “it was cool” to “I can’t stop thinking about them.”
But here’s the catch: chemistry alone won’t hold a relationship together. It’s like fireworks—beautiful and exciting but burns out quickly if there’s nothing to sustain it.
What is Compatibility?
Compatibility is the long game. It’s the foundation that keeps the house standing when the honeymoon phase fades. Being compatible means you and your partner align in important areas: values, goals, lifestyles, and the way you handle conflict.
Compatibility doesn’t always come with an immediate spark, which is why people sometimes overlook it. But it’s the reason some relationships last while others crash and burn.
Which One Matters More?
Let’s be real—chemistry feels amazing. It makes you giddy, makes your heart race, and gives you that feeling that you’ve found “the one.” But if you’re not compatible, all that excitement will eventually turn into frustration.
Think about it: You could have crazy chemistry with someone, but if they don’t respect your boundaries, don’t want the same type of relationship, or handle stress in a way that doesn’t align with yours, that chemistry won’t save you.
On the flip side, you could meet someone who is highly compatible—they share your values, communicate well, and want the same things—but if there’s no chemistry, the relationship might feel more like a friendship than a romance.
So, What’s the Answer?
Ideally, you want both. Chemistry makes things exciting, but compatibility keeps things stable. The best relationships have a balance of both—passion with a purpose, attraction with alignment.
If you’re caught up in a connection that’s all spark but no substance, ask yourself: Can I build a real future with this person? And if you’re in a relationship that makes sense on paper but lacks excitement, consider: Can we create a deeper connection over time?
At the end of the day, love should feel good and make sense. Don’t settle for just a spark or just stability—aim for a love that gives you both.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
5 Reasons To Maintain Your Independence In A Relationship
A healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. Here are 5 reasons why maintaining your independence in a relationship is important.
Photo Credit: Prostock-studio
Living in a close relationship with your special someone is invigorating, exciting, and fun. Maybe you've heard this described as, "when two become one." But this isn't the whole picture. In reality, a healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. They each lead independent lives and have the desire and ability to share their lives as well. Here are 5 reasons why maintaining your independence in a relationship is important.
1. Independence makes the relationship more intellectually stimulating.
If each party brings his or her interests to the table, they'll have some fascinating and different subjects to talk about with one another.
2. You can depend on your partner for support when you need it.
If each partner is independent, each one is comfortable depending on the other when the going gets tough or when life gets hectic. A relationship is, in essence, a partnership. Knowing you can count on the other person is wonderfully supportive.
Having confidence that your partner can "be okay" without you while you're at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations. Relationships do have an ebb and flow that requires that one partner lean on the other occasionally.
3. Two independent people in a relationship can mean a more balanced relationship.
When you're both independent, the relationship is healthier. Nobody is exclusively relegated to a specific role. When balance isn't present, one partner might take the role of "the strong one" in the relationship while the other partner is consequently "the weak one." Equilibrium in the relationship means no one partner is more or less powerful than the other.
4. Your relationship becomes stronger.
When two independent people decide to have a relationship, their time with each other is more special and sacred. Even though a sense of independence is important for each partner, being willing to share with the other what you love to do is a great way to spend quality time together.
Bringing independence to your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership since it's built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.
5. A sense of independence makes you more emotionally secure. This works for and benefits both partners.
If a partner is emotionally secure, they're not afraid to show their strength and their softer side at the same time. Each person's sense of independence can help facilitate more openness and honesty in the partnership. No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay since their independence already shows that they're able to take care of themselves.
When you come together at the end of the day, maybe one is tired or bored. The other can step in and revive the other or bring some ideas to the table. Neither partner will feel threatened by their mate's autonomy sense of personal strength and emotional security.
Partners in a relationship will enjoy a much deeper, longer-lasting connection when they each have a sense of independence. Bringing up different interests for discussion, feeling like you can depend on the other, and having a balanced relationship all stem from both parties having their sense of autonomy.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
What Are We? The Problem with Defining Relationships
Why is it that men sometimes resist placing a label on a relationship? We discuss it here!
Photo Credit: Shutterstock
By: Jamila Gomez
It is common to find men who shy away from putting a title on their partnerships. Perhaps you've experienced a perplexing situation where, despite spending significant time and energy with someone, they still hesitate to identify your connection. While it's important to remember that generalizations can't be applied to every individual, this phenomenon frequently occurs. So why is it that men sometimes resist placing a label on a relationship? Let's explore some possible reasons.
Fear of Commitment
Commitment can be an intimidating prospect for many people, regardless of gender. Some men may perceive defining a relationship as a step towards increased commitment, which could make them feel trapped or restricted. It may stem from anxiety about losing their freedom, spontaneity, or the fear of becoming emotionally available to someone else.
Independence and Autonomy
Men, like women, greatly value their independence and autonomy. This desire for self-reliance might make them hesitant to put a label on a relationship. Often, men associate titles with certain expectations or obligations, leading them to fear losing their individuation within the partnership.
Avoidance of Pressure and Expectations
Similarly, avoiding titles can alleviate pressure and expectations within the relationship. Men may want to keep things relaxed and free from societal norms or the traditional progressions that come with labeling a partnership. By avoiding titles, they can focus on enjoying the connection without being burdened by societal or personal anticipations.
Fear of Judgment or Change
When a relationship is labeled, it becomes subject to societal judgment and scrutiny. Men might resist defining the connection to avoid potential judgment from friends, family, or even their internal fears. Furthermore, change can be daunting, and defining a relationship often signals a shift toward more serious territory. Men might prefer to keep things undefined to maintain the familiar and avoid any disruptions it may cause.
Prioritizing Compatibility and Growth
For some men, focusing on compatibility and personal growth takes precedence over labels. They may prioritize the quality of the relationship rather than adhering to societal norms. Leaving the partnership open-ended allows the connection to evolve naturally, focusing on emotional compatibility, shared values, and personal growth rather than an explicit label.
It is crucial to remember that each person's motivations and preferences differ, regardless of gender. Some men might willingly embrace labeling a relationship, whereas others may need more time or have different priorities. Communication remains the key to navigating these situations successfully. Openly discussing expectations, desires, and fears can help both partners understand each other's perspectives and find a compromise that satisfies both parties.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
There's Something Special About Black Love and It Should Be Celebrated
There's something very special about Black love and the bond that comes with it! We discuss it here!
By: Jordan King
While February is proudly Black History Month, we also observe a special day for the celebration of love in all forms and fashions. When it comes to speaking about love within the Black community at large, this topic is so vast and at times controversial. Everyone (rightfully so) has different and conflicting perspectives. However, all of our people deserve and are entitled to love; especially when we have done that inner work to heal and be the best version of a mate for your significant other!
To be able to love freely and unapologetically is a divine right. Love should not be complicated, however, naturally things happen. Now, for some reason when it comes to Black love; it’s not just complicated but complex. The presence of Blacks in America spans over 400 years yet somehow we have managed to maintain our kind. Traditionally, media has struggled with how to properly represent affection, care, and love when it comes to colored people. Often times our love is seen as too dramatic, toxic or situation based. Now of course that’s not to say that America misrepresents other cultures too.
Admittedly; while my parents are divorced, I have been grateful to witness other examples of healthy relationships and marriages. Also it’s very important to acknowledge the valleys in various stages of relationships, as not every day will be easy or disagreements will arise. On the other side, people can eventually grow apart and lead cordial lives. Nonetheless, the goal of our generation should be to not only redefine the definition of love in modern times; yet also maintain the essence of what love has always been!
The illusion of options will unfortunately make it hard for us to be able to properly find their person. In the past, people were relegated to shorter radiuses to find their lifelong partners. However, this also can be a positive! For instance, two people that were meant for each other but maybe distance would’ve prevented them from ever meeting; could manifest a connection through the tools of technology.
While I do believe in the concept of “love is love”, as well as the idea that anybody can find their person within anyone else; there’s just something so unique about the love affair between two Black people, as well as the care and intimacy that they are able to show due to the combined history and lineage. Honestly, it is through the strife that Black people have experienced throughout our collective history, that we have been able to transmute that pain into an overall deep love and care. A force so mighty that when applied properly can be miraculous, as well as even generation binding.
Some, and hopefully more of you will get the chance to experience family reunions with true elders. Those that have the matriarchs & patriarchs that can truly pass on a long history, as well as being able to experience these people up close. One day, those elders (hopefully) will be us!
To be Black, is an honor; A birthright. The ability to find and maintain love while Black, can be challenging; however, ultimately so rewarding. There’s a very unique importance and aspect of love that can always be revealed and nurtured between two people from similar cultures.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Do You Have Boundaries With Your Ex?
In some relationships, people are able to maintain healthy relationships with their exes, but just how close are you? Here are some things you may be doing with your Ex that are no good because you don’t have any set boundaries!
By: Alyssa Cole
In some relationships, people are able to maintain healthy relationships with their exes, but just how close are you? If you're a fan of the hit Hulu series Insecure, we saw in a recent episode Issa battle with her temptations and sexual desires to not have sex with her old boo Daniel. Most viewers I’m sure were caught off guard at the end of the episode when Issa stops Daniel right in his tracks as he’s beginning to set the mood. Were you not screaming at the television in disbelief?! But this episode had a great lesson in it, which is to have self-control and to definitely set some boundaries! Here are some things you may be doing with your Ex that are no good because you don’t have any set and enforced boundaries!
Having Sex With Your Ex
Now you know you’re wrong for this! But let’s be real, things happen. Is it right or healthy? Of course not! Sure it feels amazing, but it’s not worth it. Some advice? Date somebody new and once you feel they are promising and headed towards something long lasting, become intimate with that person. It’s so easy to get caught up with your ex, especially for the sex, but mentally and emotionally, it’s not a good move in the long run.
Looking At Your Ex’s Social Media Posts And Photos
Now you know better. Ok, I get it, some of you are still friends with your exes but even if you or if you aren’t, refrain from internet stalking them. We all know the average human being is nosey as crap! But once you get on their page and get to scrolling, the next thing you know you’re going down memory lane, thinking about the last time you went out with them, and what made you fall for them in the beginning. DON’T DO IT! If you ever want to truly move on, you should really take a step back from checking their social media and for some people, you may need to remove them from your social media altogether. Thank me later.
Reaching Out To Your Ex When You’re Drinking
Now listen. I don’t even need to go into detail about this one because you know you’re acting up when you do this. One of the most popular things people do especially if the break up is still fresh is reach out when you’re under the influence to your ex. This is never a good idea! This is where having self-control comes into play. Know your triggers! If you know that Sangria or Jack and Coke makes you feel a way and you’re not over your ex, turn your phone off when you’re out or have a friend hold your phone. It’s not childish, it’s called being smart! I’ve had to tell my friends to hold my phone when I knew I was still getting over someone, just to prevent sending something I didn’t mean or worse, sending something I did mean but didn’t have the guts to say when I was sober. Be very careful when you’re under the influence!
Are you guilty of any of those things above? Maybe or maybe not, but the most important thing to remember is to know your triggers and always have self-control. Ask yourself why did you end up breaking up in the first place? Is your current friendship a healthy one? Are you falling back into a place of comfort with them because it’s what you're used to? There isn’t a rule saying you can’t be friends with your ex, but to really help you move forward, it’s important to set clear boundaries and don’t overlook them. Be confident in yourself that you can be happy and satisfied with someone new and especially when you’re by yourself.
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Sex Before Marriage Can Save You Longterm Disappointment
Getting into a marriage just to find out that the person of your dreams isn’t what you pictured them to be in bed, is a nightmare that we all wish to avoid. Here’s why sex before marriage can be to your benefit!
By: Omar Cook
Sex is a powerful tool that should not be taken for granted and abused. It’s also something that can affect how you interact with your partner in a relationship. We have always been taught from an early age that we should wait until we get married to have sex, but in all honesty, how many people are really waiting until marriage?
This isn’t to say to you should be having sex in every relationship, or with every person that peaks your interest. And if you have religious reasons for holding off until you tie the knot, hold true to your own beliefs. But if things are getting pretty serious and you want to know that what lies under the covers fits your agenda, you might just want to give it a shot.
Waiting until marriage leaves a lot room for the unknown. A legitimate fear of not having sex before marriage is, what if you don’t click with your partner intimately? Sexual attraction and sexual chemistry are two different things. You can be extremely attracted to a person physically but the sex can be wack!
Sex can solve a lot of issues, or at the very least, make some things about your partner just a little bit more tolerable. Imagine having a bad argument, and wanting to be able to make up with each other physically, but the sex is just as bad as the argument. Now you’re physically and mentally frustrated. Lack of sexual chemistry is a recipe for disaster.
It’s like test driving a car, no person in their right mind is going to leave a car lot without taking it around the block first. Sex can always be learned and taught and you can grow with your partner, but that’s definitely a risk you’re going to take if you wait until marriage. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with a person, you’re obviously going to want to know if they can satisfy you physically. Getting into marriage just to find out that the person of your dreams isn’t what you pictured them to be in bed, is a nightmare that we all wish to avoid.
We don’t live in the 1800s and people aren’t getting married off love at first sight anymore. You’ll want to everything about who you’re getting involved with and sex is a major factor in a relationship. Sex isn’t the answer to a healthy relationship and it should also not be the deciding factor on whether you should be with someone, but it is important nonetheless. If having sex before marriage is what you and your partner decide to do, do it the safe way of course!
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
Getting Married Is Not The Key To Love And Happiness
Marriage has always been seen as a high priority goal on the list for people wanting to achieve the American dream, but is getting married really a key to love and happiness? We discuss it here!
“I’m just trying to make money, catch me a husband, so I can get my happiness.”
By: Deveney Marshall
It was a slow and rainy Wednesday at work, so my coworker and I began talking about our romantic relationships to pass the time. I explained to her I considered myself single(ish) and she shared the same sentiment as well, a sentiment several millennials like myself can relate to. We continued our conversation about marriage and relationships, and before she left she said these words “I’m just trying to make money, catch me a husband, so I can get my happiness.” I pondered on those words for a while, and all I could think to myself was money and marriage aren’t the keys to a happy life and why do we even still believe in that age-old ideal?
Marriage has always been seen as a high priority goal on the list for people wanting to achieve the American dream. Even in 2018, a lot of millennials still see marriage as this fairytale-like fallacy, and feel in order to have happiness then they have to be married. Traditionally speaking, marriage has never been about true love or happiness. It has always been handled like a business deal, using women as collateral. Women would provide domestic duties in exchange for financial security. However, those days are (almost) behind us, and women make enough to sustain their own cost of living. We can now officially marry one another for all of the right reasons, yet we still are not. Why?
For starters, people have to become more honest with themselves. Most people don’t care about having a happy and successful marriage, they just don’t want to be alone. They believe marriage will be this cure-all for their unhappiness. However, marriage is not the cure for loneliness, self-work is.
Self work, which falls under us millennials favorite pastime of self care, is about tuning into who we are in this life and growing into the person we want to be. For instance, when is the last time you took a moment to reflect on what truly makes you happy? Or when was the last time you contemplated on the emotions you feel when you're alone? Answering questions like those honestly will help you to begin the self work you need to be an ideal partner for marriage one day. Once you find your happiness, you become more comfortable with who you are, and you stop looking for your joy within someone else.
Now hear me clearly when I say there is nothing wrong with wanting to be married. Marriage can be a beautiful thing when done correctly. Just stop looking for marriage to fulfill this empty void in your life. It won’t, and you will end up feeling even more alone being married than you were while you were single. You are the sole source of your own happiness. Once you realize and believe that, I guarantee you everything else in your life will fall into place (even marriage).
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
SHARE TO SOCIAL MEDIA
4 Obvious Signs They're Losing Interest
Here are some obvious signs that you may be dealing with someone who is losing interest in you!
By: Alyssa Cole
Dealing with rejection is never easy, especially if you’re being left after investing time into someone. You get so wrapped up in being around that person and it never dawns on you that maybe some things have changed right in front of your eyes. It’s the worst realizing that your clock has ticked its time all away with someone and now you’re back at square one looking for something new to put on your arm. Isn’t it typically a little obvious to see your partner losing interest in you? What’s interesting enough is that we as people do tend to see the signs, but we’re just too blind to initially notice them due to how much we like and care about the person at the time. Are you wondering if the person you’re talking to is losing interest? Have their habits changed? Is the vibe different? Here are some obvious signs that you may be dealing with someone who is losing interest.
The Conversation Becomes Short
If the conversation goes from every day and multiple times throughout the day to only a few times out of the week, there is a good chance they could be getting bored and have lost that spark to engage with you. When you’re starting out and trying to get a feel for someone, typically you can expect to talk on a daily basis or an every other day basis depending on the person. If more than two days go by and you haven’t heard from them, if they aren’t going through something serious on their end personally, this is a big hint they may be on their way out.
They Avoid Serious Conversations
Have the conversations about things like family, politics, interests, and a future together suddenly gone missing from your list of topics? This is not a coincidence. If you are trying to have deep conversations and the person doesn’t desire to engage with you on these matters like before, it is probably because they no longer see you in any of those future scenarios with them and don't desire to start deep conversations because they know they won't stick around in the conversation long enough to finish it with you.
They Start Forgetting Everything
Do they go from remembering everything you enjoy and paying attention to all your little gestures, to suddenly forgetting that they didn’t have a conversation with you? You find yourself reminding them about plans that were made in advance or about something important you already told them? Chances are they are forgetting things because they no longer care to make certain things a priority to remember. Someone who is losing interest and moving on will do this one very often. If someone new has came along, they are probably trying to keep you and the new person’s conversations separate in their mind, but more than likely they are starting to get them mixed up and confusing their own self!
They Constantly Make Excuses
This may be the most obvious sign of them all. When you try to make plans lately do they come up with a silly reason why they can’t come out at the last minute? When they forget to reply back for hours to a message do you start to hear the “Oh I forgot”, “Oh I fell asleep”, “Oh I thought”, statements? We all know what excuses are and sometimes we as people genuinely do make mistakes, but if you are getting excuses more than half of the time when interacting with this person, chances are they are coming up with excuses because they don’t know to be honest about no longer wanting to develop something more with you. Excuses, Excuses, Excuses!!
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
Share to social media
Relationship Therapy: 4 Steps To Help With Trust Issues In A Relationship
Trust is one of the single most important things there is to have between you and another person in a serious relationship. Here are some relationship tips to help with trust issues in your relationships!
By: Alyssa Cole
Trust is one of the single most important things there is to have between you and another person. Whether it's your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, or even co-workers, having trust is important to the success of all healthy relationships especially a serious relationship. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you lost trust in someone? They lied to you about something? They kept something important from you? They weren’t honest with you about something that was impactful to you?
This is very common! You may see social media today quotes and tweets with people saying things like “I have trust issues”, “I’m afraid to open up”, “I don’t want to get close to anybody”, “I’m tired of being hurt”. Losing trust in someone special to you can seem like the end of the world sometimes and for many, it can take a long time to regain trust.
Lack of trust, however, is one the worst traits to have when you are trying to develop a new relationship or to save one. Many couples have experienced situations that created a lack of “trust” and the end results have been heartbreaking. Sometimes situations are better off ending, but the ones worth saving require a few steps to get back to that happy medium. Let’s discuss some steps to take when trying to learn how to trust again.
1) Switch Shoes - Switching places with the person that broke your trust to understand why they made the choice that they did, can be very beneficial to you. Have you stopped to ask yourself why they kept something from you? Was it to really hurt you? Was it intentional? Having an open mind to think about the other person’s mindset could help you get a better understanding of the situation.
2) Right Time, Right Place - When you’ve had time to think things through about the situation that hurt you, decide when is the right opportunity to bring the conversation up to find a solution. If you react too quickly, the relationship can suffer damages that may be avoided if you wait just a little while to think things out. There is a time and a place for everything, especially when getting back together.
3) Tone is Everything - The way you approach your first conversation after the situation can potentially determine the results. You could be having thoughts like "I don't wanna do this anymore" or "should I break up with my boyfriend" but take your time and think through. You’re already upset, you’re emotional, and possibly still gathering your thoughts even when going into the conversation, so choose wisely your attitude and volume when talking. When tension is high, there is a greater risk of escalation and it’s crucial to avoid any unnecessary conflict. Remember this is someone you care about! Even though you may be upset, remember to keep your cool, watch your tone, and respect each other’s space. Just talk it out; communication in relationships can keep you from breaking up with someone you love and ending a relationship.
4) Talk It Out, Move Forward - Once you have the conversation, the most important thing from there is to LET IT GO! This is the step that many people struggle with depending on the situation. How often have you heard someone say that they tried but they just couldn’t stop thinking about the past? No! No! No! If you let the past control your relationship, you could end up in a broken relationship! Be strong enough to let the situation go and move forward with them if it’s a relationship truly working saving. Even if you can’t accept the situation and remain close to the person, make it a goal to forgive them, to move forward, and to not hold a grudge over it. Remember that when you don’t forgive, you give the other person power over you. Don’t you want your power? Talk it out and move forward!
Without trust, no serious relationship can be stable, so as people we must learn how to trust and when we lose our trust in others, we must be willing to forgive and to move forward without holding on to past hurt. When you let the pain go, that is when you start to truly live and love again.
Lastly, take your time when healing to ensure that your trust in other's won't suffer in the future. The last thing you want to do is lose out on great people due to holding on to the past right? Remember, trust is key!
YOU MAY ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:
Dating Advice: 4 Signs You're Dating Someone Emotionally Unavailable
Are you getting to know someone who doesn't quite seem like they’re ready to let their guard down? Here are 4 signs that you may be dating someone emotionally unavailable!
By: Alyssa Cole
Are you getting to know someone who doesn't quite seem like their ready to let their guard down? Feeling constantly blocked out when a deep conversation begins? Are they struggling with moving forward to become serious with you? This type of person is not ready for a serious relationship. All of the these situations could stem from two words....EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE!
This term has become a popular thing among the young generations when explaining why they just aren't ready to move forward. Everyone is different and has their different reasons for why they are emotionally unavailable, but am I the only one that gets confused when they do everything like a boyfriend/girlfriend, acts just like a boyfriend/girlfriend, doesn't want to see you with anyone else, but then comes back to you saying their not ready to actually be that special someone to you.
Yes, this can be very frustrating! What's worse is if you invest so much time into someone and don't catch the signs early. We are all just looking for someone who is also focused on growing together and build with so who wants to waste time right?!
Want to know how you can detect if your potential love interest may be emotionally unavailable?
>> SEE ALSO: The Social Pressure To Lose Your Virginity
4 Signs You're Dating Someone Emotionally Unavailable
The Freak - Watch out for this one. They will try to snatch your soul in the sheets quickly but when things start to get a little too deep and you become intimate with this person, they tend to slowly fall back and eventually take off.
When I'm Free - Now this one is the type that only wants to hang out or be sexual when they are in the mood and focuses more so on what they desire and not you. This one can be tricky to spot sometimes if you're dealing with a "nice person". They may come up with excuses as to why they can't do things on your time and even may disappear for days or weeks after just being cuddled up with you while watching movies. Crazy right?
The Complainer - This person will talk about everything their ex did to hurt the relationship but won't own up to where they may have failed to make it work. They like playing the victim and may lack emotional maturity and display it by talking bad about their ex if you ask questions about the previous relationship. It's clear they aren't letting go of a relationship and is a big sign that they may not be emotionally ready for a new relationship.
The " I don't think/I just cant" person - Have they ever said things like "I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship right now", " I don't know how a relationship could work for me at this point", I don't think commitment is for me", or "I'm just not good at relationships"? This person is letting you know without saying it that they clearly are NOT READY for a serious relationship. Do not be the person that wants to be a superwoman/superman and feel like you are just the person to fix all their problems. Don't do it!!! Pay attention to their words because if they are saying things like this, nine times out of ten, they probably mean it.
Pay attention to these types of people and signs you are experiencing. Ask yourself is this the type of person you're dealing with? If someone is emotionally unavailable you must understand that it can take time for them to fully move forward in a relationship. Is it something you are willing to accept? Or do you feel you deserve someone who is open to moving forward with you now?
Choose Wisely.
THIS ARTICLE IS RELATED TO: relationship questions, relationship advice, emotional intelligence, emotional abuse, dating problems advice, advice on love and relationships