After ‘Amen’…Now What? What to do When Prayer Isn’t Enough
By: Jamila Gomez
I used to know this girl who always complained about being single. What seemed like every single day, she would go on some sort of rant about how badly she hated being single. She’d talk about how unlovable she felt. How she wasn’t good enough or pretty enough. Or that she had certain challenges that she felt hindered her ability to find love. Now, I won’t front. I know these feelings all too well. I used to have my moments of ‘why not me’ regarding finding love. But she was different.
Whenever she and I talked about her feelings, she would always mention that she was rigorously and relentlessly praying for God to bring her somebody. And that would just kind of be . . . it. She’d pray and pray and pray, and then continue on with her life, only to turn around, complain again, pray again, and so forth. The cycle would continue.
During these talks, she always said that she was waiting on God to work this miracle. I always saw this as a roadblock and I even told her. Perhaps that is why we no longer speak. This girl was a shy girl with not a lot of self-worth. She was a stunningly beautiful girl with glowing chocolate skin and juicy natural curls. Her smile was bright as the sun. And her personality was bubbly and fun. She was going to school and she seemed happy. But I guess she felt like the only thing missing in her life was a man.
The issue is, she was a homebody. The only places she went were school and church. But she didn’t talk to people. She wasn’t the making friends type. Besides in person, she didn’t have any sort of way to meet people online either. She had a Facebook, but that was it. She wasn’t down for making a dating profile anywhere. So, her presence wasn’t wide enough. But she wasn’t willing to widen it.
God can and indeed will work miracles in our lives when it’s in accordance with His plan for our lives. When you pray and ask God for a miracle or for him to make a move in your life, though, there are two things that YOU have to be willing to do to receive what you’re asking for:
1. Position Yourself
In my former friend’s case, she just expected a man to show up at her doorstep. She wasn’t willing to put herself out there to be found. Now, I’m not saying that she needed to go up to every man she saw and start flirting. But what I am saying is that how did she expect to be found if she’s hiding? Positioning yourself does not equate to chasing or pursuing. It just means being accessible and approachable.
If you want a potential significant other to share a hobby, perhaps join a club or a Meetup for that specific hobby. If you’re not into going out, perhaps make a profile on a free dating app. At least give it a sincere try. If you don’t like the experience, get rid of it. But at least give it a try. You have to be willing to position yourself to receive the thing you’re praying for.
2. Fix Your Heart
Part of receiving something that you’re praying for is believing you deserve it. Believing that you are worthy of the thing. Affirm and proclaim that you are good enough for the thing. It is easier said than done, I know. Especially if you are willing to position yourself and put yourself out there and still coming up with nothing. That can put a damper on your spirit. But this is not an excuse to give up and just think it’s never going to happen. You have to believe that you can have it.
I simply had to tell this person that although she was waiting on God, perhaps He was waiting on her. Waiting on her to move. Waiting on her to do HER part. He doesn’t need our help, but He does require our obedience. And we can’t just expect Him to gift us just because He’s God and can do what He wants. He doesn’t owe us that. I don’t know if she ever received what she prayed for. I hope she did. And if not, I hope she does. I believe she’s worth it. But it’s not enough for me to believe. She has to, too. And it’s not enough to just believe. She has to do be willing to do something. Because after all, faith without works is dead.
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