Trim Your Ends: 3 Tips to Letting Go of the Things No Longer Meant for You
By: Jamila Gomez
Ladies, you know when you go to the hairdresser to get your hair done and you get it all washed and clean? You sit under the dryer and some time and then you get your hair fixed up real pretty the way you want it. You feel like a new woman when your hair gets done, right?! Well, during this process, there is a step that is taken that we sometimes don’t give too much thought into.
That step to ensure that your hair is given new life is a trim. Your hair is carefully combed, and section by section, the trim occurs. Prior to this trim, your ends dead. If you don’t trim your ends, your hair won’t grow as healthily as it should. And just like the ends of your hair, you have dead things in your life that need a trim.
You can’t live your best, purposed life if you are still carrying with you a bunch of people, things, and circumstances that are stunting your growth. Whether it’s a toxic relationship – platonic, romantic, or family, a job that you no longer enjoy, or old thought processes that are negative in nature, we are all guilty of hanging on to dead ends.
We hold on to them because they are familiar to us, even when they don’t serve us or feel good to us. Sometimes they do feel good to us, but they are not good for us. It hurts us to let go of the things we have known for such a long time. A lot of us even appear to carry these dead things. It is very apparent in the ways we carry ourselves. You know the saying ‘Thank God I don’t look like what I’ve been through’? Some of us look like it. But you will never know true freedom until you let go of the dead things.
So, how do you do this? I’m so glad you asked. As I stated before, letting go is not easy and it sometimes painful, but it is doable. If you have the patience and the willingness – because it won’t happen overnight, as well as the knowing that it takes practice and discipline, you will be amazed at much better you will feel. Here are 3 tips to help you let go of the things no longer meant for you!
1. Introspection
You have to be willing to look deep within. Really take a look at your mindset. Are you still hanging on to traumas from childhood or events from early adulthood? Are these events keeping you from thriving? If yes, these things need to be dealt with. The best way to do this is to talk to a professional.
Now, I know that a lot of people have a very negative feeling about therapy or counseling. But this can help you sort these things out, and it may even bring up some things from within that you don’t even know are there, or perhaps you may have suppressed. But the bottom line is you can’t do this by yourself. You need to support of someone who you can be open and honest with about everything. If counseling doesn’t quite cut it for you, find someone trustworthy that you are close to who will give you the truth about everything.
2. Examine Your Circle
This is necessary because you are the company you keep. Really examine who you have around you and the influence they have on you. Be honest about it and if it’s not a positive influence they have, you need to figure out what to do about it.
One of the things I’m more mindful of is how often I argue and with whom. If I’m constantly arguing with the same person, I need to re-evaluate my relationship with that person and either find a way to stop arguing and keep that person around and sever my ties.
Same thing when it comes to people whose energy constantly brings you down. Or if they are unsupportive or stagnant. But get real and honest about your circle. If there are people that you should do without, you need to let them go.
3. Forgive yourself
This process can possibly make you feel sad or upset that you’ve held on to things for so long. Don’t put that pressure on yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself during this process. It is not easy and if you beat yourself up too much over it, you will not go through with it completely and you will go back to that familiar dead end.
I want to reiterate one more time than none of this is easy, but you can do this. In order to grow to your fullest potential, you have to trim off the dead ends. Let go of the things that keep you reaching your highest height. You will be amazed at how tall you can grow when you let the dead things go.
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