5 Ways To Avoid Having Sex While Dating

By: Alyssa Cole

It’s been a few months, and you’ve gone on numerous dates and have started to really get to know someone new. They're extremely attracted to you mentally and especially physically, but you really want to wait until you’re in a serious and committed relationship to be intimate. There was a time where there was a 90-Day Rule when it came to sex, but over time things have changed and people are letting the flow of how the vibe is with one another decide when the time is right. Although going with the flow is not necessarily a bad thing, you don’t want to let the sexual chemistry cloud the focus on building a solid foundation for the relationship. So what can be done?! Here are a few ways you can avoid having sex while dating.  

1) No Home Dates 

Trying to decide what to do for a date but you keep thinking about how nice a movie with your favorite take-out cuddled up would be? Stop right there. This is one of the easiest ways to get yourself caught up in a spicy situation with your new boo. We all know a good movie and some extra close touching can lead to much more and it can happen relatively quickly! Try coming up with places to go outside of the house to avoid the extra privacy you’re not ready to have. 

2) Avoid Late Meet-ups

Have you ever heard the saying, “The Freaks Come Out At Night"? Yes, this is in fact very true for the average hormonal person. It is more common for someone to think about sexual intercourse the later it gets into the night vs early in the morning or midday. This, of course, varies by the person, but the best thing to do is to arrange plans during the day to make it less of a possibility that you may get tired and potentially desire to stay the night. Which leads me to my next tip.

3) No Sleepovers 

I get it. You may be starting to get serious and you have the freedom of staying over each other’s houses. You’re in the faze where you want to see them every other day and spend as much time together, but staying the night is OFF LIMITS! This is definitely the easiest way to end up having sex too soon. You may say to yourself “I can control myself”, early in the night, but then you get comfortable, your favorite love songs are playing, and you find yourself wondering what it would be like to experience that amazing moment with this person your really into right here, right now. Be patient! It’s better to avoid staying the night completely until you are in a serious relationship.

4) Don’t Give The Wrong Impression 

How embarrassing is it when your new boo thinks it’s the perfect time to become intimate because your body language is yelling it, but in reality, you aren’t even sure what you’re ready for! Don’t play with their emotions. Don’t start kissing them on their neck or chest and expect them to avoid the temptation. Sex is an intimate thing exchanged between two people and to some, it’s a precious thing to do. Be sure your actions and your mind are on the same level to alleviate any unnecessary confusion. By making it clear you’re not ready and avoiding giving off the wrong vibe, you can avoid your new boo attempting to initiate something sexual. 

5) Avoid Things That Trigger Sexual Arousal 

It’s no secret people like to drink and some like to take other substances as a form of socializing. If you know that after a few drinks or smoking you may find yourself likely to be in the mood, avoid these behaviors as much as possible when you’re with your partner. You may want to go out for drinks with them and that’s ok, just as long as you know your limit! Knowing what trigger’s you to be sexually aroused, will be crucial to you avoiding having sex too soon.

While all these are great ways to avoid sex, the most important thing you must have is self-control. We live in a time where we want everything fast including relationships, but like all good things that last, it takes time and patience. Just because you wait to take certain big steps doesn’t mean you aren’t seriously interested in the person nor does it mean you won’t become ready at a certain point. Take your time, enjoy the dating phase, and focus on really getting to know the person.

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